So today I finally got to see my new counsellor. As I'm sure you regulars remember I've suffered with depression for years, tried medication, tried going at it solo, tried various therapies and had varying degrees of success and failures over the years.
I've had to wait a long time to see this counsellor, courtesy of the NHS here in the UK and to be honest although I've found it helpful to talk in the past I've never really felt any long lasting benefits. However today something rather strange happened, this oddly dressed eccentric of a counsellor made me realise something I've never realised before.
Simply put, I know my outward persona or "Front" very well, this "Front" I put on for the world is confident, strong and gets on with things but I had no idea as silly as it sounds that I feel the way that I do because my real self is battered and bruised as a result of the trials I've experienced in my life so far but also that I have no idea who I really, truly am. I'm insecure and unhappy I know that much and am certainly not used to someone disarming me the way this chap did today.
Problem is, I'm now sat here pondering, not having a clue of what to do or even how to come to terms with my inner self, my authentic self call it what you will and I have no idea how to be anything other than what I've been for the past fifteen or more years.
Can anyone offer some guidance?
I've had to wait a long time to see this counsellor, courtesy of the NHS here in the UK and to be honest although I've found it helpful to talk in the past I've never really felt any long lasting benefits. However today something rather strange happened, this oddly dressed eccentric of a counsellor made me realise something I've never realised before.
Simply put, I know my outward persona or "Front" very well, this "Front" I put on for the world is confident, strong and gets on with things but I had no idea as silly as it sounds that I feel the way that I do because my real self is battered and bruised as a result of the trials I've experienced in my life so far but also that I have no idea who I really, truly am. I'm insecure and unhappy I know that much and am certainly not used to someone disarming me the way this chap did today.
Problem is, I'm now sat here pondering, not having a clue of what to do or even how to come to terms with my inner self, my authentic self call it what you will and I have no idea how to be anything other than what I've been for the past fifteen or more years.
Can anyone offer some guidance?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment