I need some help - I can't think straight as my mind is foggy and I can't tell anyone about my situation, it's a long story with lots of detail so i'll try keep it short.
I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, (we're both in our 20s) and we're about to start saving for a house. Our relationship has been rocky, he's not my usual type, he's the 'bad boy' type and is very in your face and flirts with girls. I fell head over heels in love and everything was fine for 2 years. Then he started doing dodgy things, he made fake Facebook accounts and added lots of girls, he also started staying out late, messaging girls and lots more. I confronted him about it and he said he was just 'looking' and that he never did anything more than just friendly conversation. I believed him but was very hurt and it caused arguments. We got through it but he still talks to me like crap a lot of the time but he's also so loving, cuddly and buys me dinner, flowers, presents etc. He's calmed down a lot now with the flirting and seems to be very commited.
Part 2 of the story: I have a friend who I used to have feelings for, we used to meet and have the most romantic sex and we really got on. We had to stop seeing each other as he had a girlfriend who he wanted to make it work with. He got back in touch about a year ago and said he still had feelings for me but that he was seeing someone new. We met, stuff happened and we got close. We were meeting at weekends as we live 100 miles away from each other and we even went a few weekends away. He told me he loved me and that he always had, he told me he wanted to grow old with me but that he couldn't leave the person he was with because she'd moved to the area to be with him and he couldn't hurt her and her family. I've never felt for anyone like I do for him, I just feel like he's the one for me, and he said the same too. He's so kind and romantic. This affair went on for months and I got so emotional because I wanted to be with him but I felt so guilty about cheating on my boyfrie nd. Last week the person I was having an affair with said he couldn't be a cheat anymore, and that he hoped one day things would change. He said he wanted nothing more to be together but that it couldn't work at the moment as we live so far away and he wanted it to be done the proper way. He said he didn't love his girlfriend and that he felt like she'd robbed him of the chance to be with someone else. I'm heartbroken, we we're talking everyday and now I feel like i've lost him.
So now I don't know what to do, I was ready to give up my job and leave to be with this person. I feel sick to my stomach with guilt that I've done this to my boyfriend, I really do love him and care for him but I'm not in love with him. I feel like I should do the right thing and stay with my boyfriend and make it work. I think if i leave him I will never find anyone better and will always regret it. But deep down I know that if the guy I was having an affair with got in touch in 5 years time, i'd drop everything to be with him. I'm so confused, bitter and guilty, I feel like messaging this guys girlfriend and telling her everything because if he doesn't love his girlfriend then why is he staying with her and not being with me?
What do I do?
I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, (we're both in our 20s) and we're about to start saving for a house. Our relationship has been rocky, he's not my usual type, he's the 'bad boy' type and is very in your face and flirts with girls. I fell head over heels in love and everything was fine for 2 years. Then he started doing dodgy things, he made fake Facebook accounts and added lots of girls, he also started staying out late, messaging girls and lots more. I confronted him about it and he said he was just 'looking' and that he never did anything more than just friendly conversation. I believed him but was very hurt and it caused arguments. We got through it but he still talks to me like crap a lot of the time but he's also so loving, cuddly and buys me dinner, flowers, presents etc. He's calmed down a lot now with the flirting and seems to be very commited.
Part 2 of the story: I have a friend who I used to have feelings for, we used to meet and have the most romantic sex and we really got on. We had to stop seeing each other as he had a girlfriend who he wanted to make it work with. He got back in touch about a year ago and said he still had feelings for me but that he was seeing someone new. We met, stuff happened and we got close. We were meeting at weekends as we live 100 miles away from each other and we even went a few weekends away. He told me he loved me and that he always had, he told me he wanted to grow old with me but that he couldn't leave the person he was with because she'd moved to the area to be with him and he couldn't hurt her and her family. I've never felt for anyone like I do for him, I just feel like he's the one for me, and he said the same too. He's so kind and romantic. This affair went on for months and I got so emotional because I wanted to be with him but I felt so guilty about cheating on my boyfrie nd. Last week the person I was having an affair with said he couldn't be a cheat anymore, and that he hoped one day things would change. He said he wanted nothing more to be together but that it couldn't work at the moment as we live so far away and he wanted it to be done the proper way. He said he didn't love his girlfriend and that he felt like she'd robbed him of the chance to be with someone else. I'm heartbroken, we we're talking everyday and now I feel like i've lost him.
So now I don't know what to do, I was ready to give up my job and leave to be with this person. I feel sick to my stomach with guilt that I've done this to my boyfriend, I really do love him and care for him but I'm not in love with him. I feel like I should do the right thing and stay with my boyfriend and make it work. I think if i leave him I will never find anyone better and will always regret it. But deep down I know that if the guy I was having an affair with got in touch in 5 years time, i'd drop everything to be with him. I'm so confused, bitter and guilty, I feel like messaging this guys girlfriend and telling her everything because if he doesn't love his girlfriend then why is he staying with her and not being with me?
What do I do?
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