Backstory: STBX is trying unsuccessfully to stonewall my attempts at D. Paperwork was submitted, we have a court date, he has been served.
I really, really, really want to send the e-mail below. Please note this is the most harshly worded thing I have considered sending him, while he has multiple times called me names and said cruel things. But, I also know that sending this e-mail just for my emotional satisfaction won't help anybody in the long run (although it'll make me feel a whole lot better in the short run).
Thoughts?
((Wasn't sure where to put this, so please mods, let me know which category would fit better/best if this was the wrong spot!))
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(His Name),
Thank you for your magnanimous offer to bring me MORE clarity on your feelings. I do not recall asking for this clarity, which I feel has been given to me multiple times, but regardless I now have further insight into your thoughts on this matter. Now please allow ME to offer you a little bit of clarity:
This divorce is happening whether you like it or not. It can happen with you or it can happen without you; to be perfectly frank I don't care which route you choose.
At this point there is no further need for us to come to "an agreement" or for you to sign anything. I have already submitted my paperwork to the court. If you had any concerns about division of property, you should have mentioned them when I asked. Now your only recourse is to file a response – not with me, not via e-mail, but with the court.
This will be expensive. This will be expensive because YOU did not cooperate with me when I asked for your help in this matter. Had you responded to me and helped me reach a compromise this would have been simple, but YOU were delaying this process by not responding so I had to move forward without your input.
I understand you may have some questions or concerns regarding what exactly this paperwork is and how to proceed. I also understand that you apparently "do not trust me". In that case, I highly suggest you visit a lawyer, as I already have, to answer any of your questions. This will be expensive. Again, this will be expensive because YOU refused to help me make this process simple.
My stating that this will be expensive is not an idle threat or blackmail on my part – it is a statement of fact. However, there is a way you can avoid spending ANY money, and that is to do absolutely nothing. If you do absolutely nothing, this process will cost you nothing – I will go to the court in 30 days and request to file a default, and the judge will pass a ruling based on my division of property. This requires no action from you whatsoever.
In closing, while I am certainly appreciative of your newfound dedication to keeping our communication open, I am not appreciative of your name-calling or hurtful words. I find your language thus far offensive and unnecessary. If you truly want this to be a "simple process", I highly suggest you stop trying to insult and enflame the person you are supposed to be cooperating with. Most people don't like working with someone who treats them poorly.
Yours,
LoveAtDaisys
I really, really, really want to send the e-mail below. Please note this is the most harshly worded thing I have considered sending him, while he has multiple times called me names and said cruel things. But, I also know that sending this e-mail just for my emotional satisfaction won't help anybody in the long run (although it'll make me feel a whole lot better in the short run).
Thoughts?
((Wasn't sure where to put this, so please mods, let me know which category would fit better/best if this was the wrong spot!))
---
(His Name),
Thank you for your magnanimous offer to bring me MORE clarity on your feelings. I do not recall asking for this clarity, which I feel has been given to me multiple times, but regardless I now have further insight into your thoughts on this matter. Now please allow ME to offer you a little bit of clarity:
This divorce is happening whether you like it or not. It can happen with you or it can happen without you; to be perfectly frank I don't care which route you choose.
At this point there is no further need for us to come to "an agreement" or for you to sign anything. I have already submitted my paperwork to the court. If you had any concerns about division of property, you should have mentioned them when I asked. Now your only recourse is to file a response – not with me, not via e-mail, but with the court.
This will be expensive. This will be expensive because YOU did not cooperate with me when I asked for your help in this matter. Had you responded to me and helped me reach a compromise this would have been simple, but YOU were delaying this process by not responding so I had to move forward without your input.
I understand you may have some questions or concerns regarding what exactly this paperwork is and how to proceed. I also understand that you apparently "do not trust me". In that case, I highly suggest you visit a lawyer, as I already have, to answer any of your questions. This will be expensive. Again, this will be expensive because YOU refused to help me make this process simple.
My stating that this will be expensive is not an idle threat or blackmail on my part – it is a statement of fact. However, there is a way you can avoid spending ANY money, and that is to do absolutely nothing. If you do absolutely nothing, this process will cost you nothing – I will go to the court in 30 days and request to file a default, and the judge will pass a ruling based on my division of property. This requires no action from you whatsoever.
In closing, while I am certainly appreciative of your newfound dedication to keeping our communication open, I am not appreciative of your name-calling or hurtful words. I find your language thus far offensive and unnecessary. If you truly want this to be a "simple process", I highly suggest you stop trying to insult and enflame the person you are supposed to be cooperating with. Most people don't like working with someone who treats them poorly.
Yours,
LoveAtDaisys
Put the internet to work for you.
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