Or am I overreacting?
There's a woman (I'll call her Kaley) who I've had several dates with. Kaley's great and we have great conversations and fun when we're together. But she is an introvert and is strongly independent.
We've known each other for several months and at first it was just friends. We did several sporting activities together but nothing intimate. She ended a 3 year relationship a few months back and I've treaded carefully.
About a month after the break up she expressed an interest in me and we went on an actual date and we kissed.
She then went out of town for the remainder of the week.
When we returned we had a second date lined up, but she contacted me the day before and had to cancel due to not feeling good. She did not follow up with an alternative date and I assumed she was struggling with her feelings for her EX (whom she broke up with).
I texted her a few times (Merry X-mas, Happy New Years) and she did respond saying thanks you too. But nothing more.
I left out of town for a week and there was no contact between us. I figured it was over.
Last week during happy hour her and her friends are out and her friend texts me asking me to join them. I told her I had other plans and that I can meet up with them next Friday. Then Kaley texts me that she'll be there and that we'll have to be careful where we make out. So I was shocked to learn that there's still some connection?
So I feel like I get these mixed messages of her being interested and then her not texting or calling me. It's weird.
After the weekend she asked for me to see her to talk about where we stood. I told her I had backed off because I felt she needed space. I had thrown a new years eve party a few days after her cancelling on me and she brought up that I didn't invite her. She asked if I could just be "normal" about things. She also figured that I would "throw her under the bus" sooner or later. I tried to get her to clarify and she said not to worry, it's just her. I asked her if she wanted to go out next weekend and she said yes.
It's appears she's definitely insecure. I also assumed that she's holding back because she's afraid to put her feelings out there again.
So Her, her friends and I went out for happy hour last Friday. Turns out 3 of the 4 girls like me. Yikes. We had a good time but it was impossible to get intimate with her. Kaley left early and I looked out for the well-being of the 3 other girls who were visibly intoxicated. One of the girls told me Kaley has been dating other guys on a internet dating site. I figured it made sense because that seems to be the norm now days and the advice from others. I've been doing the same but with less frequent success. So I didn't get upset about it because I'm doing the same thing basically.
Before Kaley left that night, I learned her weekend plans with a family member visiting from out of town was cancelled so I asked her if she wanted to do something this weekend. She said yes so I took her out yesterday.
We went to a boardwalk and just before I parked I leaned over to her and we kissed. It was apparent that she was waiting for me to do this due to her reaction (aggressive for lack of a better word).
I also held her hand early on. I reached over and grabbed her hand with fingers interlocking and everything.
When I first did this, she made a comment to the effect of, "Right on". We did a lot of hand holding and kissing in public.
On the way home I reached over and grabbed her hand and she gave my hand a squeeze. We held them for the rest of the way home.
What does the hand holding mean? Could it mean a step closer to a possible relationship?
We had been out since 1pm and it was now 7:30. I asked her what plans she had for the night and she said her BF was coming over because she wasn't sure if her and I had plans for the night. I didn't mention anything about hanging out at night before hand so I understood.
I get her home and we kissed before she went in.
It's hard to get a read on her because she doesn't communicate with me on texting or calling very much. But when we go on dates we talk a lot and have a blast! Plus the hand holding made me question things between us too.
So I know I should probably bring up the question: Where do her and I actually stand. Am I just another # to her? Or is she waiting for me to ask her if she wants to be exclusive? I just don't want to come across needy. So how do I ask without putting pressure on her or seeming needy?
There's a woman (I'll call her Kaley) who I've had several dates with. Kaley's great and we have great conversations and fun when we're together. But she is an introvert and is strongly independent.
We've known each other for several months and at first it was just friends. We did several sporting activities together but nothing intimate. She ended a 3 year relationship a few months back and I've treaded carefully.
About a month after the break up she expressed an interest in me and we went on an actual date and we kissed.
She then went out of town for the remainder of the week.
When we returned we had a second date lined up, but she contacted me the day before and had to cancel due to not feeling good. She did not follow up with an alternative date and I assumed she was struggling with her feelings for her EX (whom she broke up with).
I texted her a few times (Merry X-mas, Happy New Years) and she did respond saying thanks you too. But nothing more.
I left out of town for a week and there was no contact between us. I figured it was over.
Last week during happy hour her and her friends are out and her friend texts me asking me to join them. I told her I had other plans and that I can meet up with them next Friday. Then Kaley texts me that she'll be there and that we'll have to be careful where we make out. So I was shocked to learn that there's still some connection?
So I feel like I get these mixed messages of her being interested and then her not texting or calling me. It's weird.
After the weekend she asked for me to see her to talk about where we stood. I told her I had backed off because I felt she needed space. I had thrown a new years eve party a few days after her cancelling on me and she brought up that I didn't invite her. She asked if I could just be "normal" about things. She also figured that I would "throw her under the bus" sooner or later. I tried to get her to clarify and she said not to worry, it's just her. I asked her if she wanted to go out next weekend and she said yes.
It's appears she's definitely insecure. I also assumed that she's holding back because she's afraid to put her feelings out there again.
So Her, her friends and I went out for happy hour last Friday. Turns out 3 of the 4 girls like me. Yikes. We had a good time but it was impossible to get intimate with her. Kaley left early and I looked out for the well-being of the 3 other girls who were visibly intoxicated. One of the girls told me Kaley has been dating other guys on a internet dating site. I figured it made sense because that seems to be the norm now days and the advice from others. I've been doing the same but with less frequent success. So I didn't get upset about it because I'm doing the same thing basically.
Before Kaley left that night, I learned her weekend plans with a family member visiting from out of town was cancelled so I asked her if she wanted to do something this weekend. She said yes so I took her out yesterday.
We went to a boardwalk and just before I parked I leaned over to her and we kissed. It was apparent that she was waiting for me to do this due to her reaction (aggressive for lack of a better word).
I also held her hand early on. I reached over and grabbed her hand with fingers interlocking and everything.
When I first did this, she made a comment to the effect of, "Right on". We did a lot of hand holding and kissing in public.
On the way home I reached over and grabbed her hand and she gave my hand a squeeze. We held them for the rest of the way home.
What does the hand holding mean? Could it mean a step closer to a possible relationship?
We had been out since 1pm and it was now 7:30. I asked her what plans she had for the night and she said her BF was coming over because she wasn't sure if her and I had plans for the night. I didn't mention anything about hanging out at night before hand so I understood.
I get her home and we kissed before she went in.
It's hard to get a read on her because she doesn't communicate with me on texting or calling very much. But when we go on dates we talk a lot and have a blast! Plus the hand holding made me question things between us too.
So I know I should probably bring up the question: Where do her and I actually stand. Am I just another # to her? Or is she waiting for me to ask her if she wants to be exclusive? I just don't want to come across needy. So how do I ask without putting pressure on her or seeming needy?
Put the internet to work for you.
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