I posted a while ago about a situation with my husband believing my daughter had taken some jewellery of his.
She (22) no longer lives here and hasn't done for nearly two years now.
He will not have her home at any time. We have no concrete proof but no one else in the picture to blame. If she took it she's out of order, I know that, she would have been a silly teenager at the time, not that that is an excuse. He cannot forgive her and cannot understand why I would want her in my life, she is all I have, her father died when she was 16 and doing her exams and she's been messed up ever since. We have had a difficult relationship ever since but I miss her so much, she's my only child.
Now my husband of 9 months and I are at stalemate. He is controlling and insular, has no real friends and isn't interested in mine. He gave up his job which he was hating two years ago to move in with me, I am financially secure and we rent his house out. He is a talented man and can fix pretty much anything, of which I am proud of him for. He see's himself as my handyman, we live in a big house (MY house, bit of an issue) which I tried to sell when hubby #1 died, it won't sell, no market for it so we're trapped here for the forseeable. I've told him to get a job if he wants too but that then precludes us from doing the things we want to do like travel long haul for a few weeks, just one example of course. So we bumble along. He holds grudges, will dig deep to sort issues and hang on like a dog with a bone. He hates my girl with a vengeance and has even said he'd wish her dead for what she's supposed to have done. My friends don't like him and don't visit now and we have no social life outside our own company. He accuses me of being wrapped up in my two horses, which we keep at home, always had horses since a child. He has his motorbikes.
I have other issues that came before him, I stupidly lent some substantial money to a person I thought I could trust and I'm struggling to get it back as the business is in the throws of administration and I'm being told I have to wait, It's been five years now and the original loan was supposed to be for a year, he wants me to force the issue through the police, maybe I should, I'm very non confrontational. He regularly threatens to leave me and goes into a non speaking spell for days on end, I just cry. He says he threatens me as it's the only way to get through to me, it's not, I hear him loud and clear but he always pushes things so far that I shut down. I have no self confidence left, no friends and no drive. I'm being forced to choose him or my daughter, she has currently said she'll walk away if I choose him, that he's mentally abusing me and I should get him gone and he says the same, lose, lose for me. To top it all my little dog bit his dog badly and he now wants my dog gone too. When things between us are good they are everything I could wish for, the relationship I never had with hubby #1 and deep down I love him to bits, he has been my cornerstone but I can't bear to lose my daughter from my life. Am I missing something or is it a no brainer and I really am the f*ckwit he says I am? I am a quiet sociable friendly person who will see the good in anything first and do what I can to help anybody. Currently being told he's leaving me, again, but he has nowhere to go and says he loves me but it's his way or no way it seems? Sorry for the essay.
She (22) no longer lives here and hasn't done for nearly two years now.
He will not have her home at any time. We have no concrete proof but no one else in the picture to blame. If she took it she's out of order, I know that, she would have been a silly teenager at the time, not that that is an excuse. He cannot forgive her and cannot understand why I would want her in my life, she is all I have, her father died when she was 16 and doing her exams and she's been messed up ever since. We have had a difficult relationship ever since but I miss her so much, she's my only child.
Now my husband of 9 months and I are at stalemate. He is controlling and insular, has no real friends and isn't interested in mine. He gave up his job which he was hating two years ago to move in with me, I am financially secure and we rent his house out. He is a talented man and can fix pretty much anything, of which I am proud of him for. He see's himself as my handyman, we live in a big house (MY house, bit of an issue) which I tried to sell when hubby #1 died, it won't sell, no market for it so we're trapped here for the forseeable. I've told him to get a job if he wants too but that then precludes us from doing the things we want to do like travel long haul for a few weeks, just one example of course. So we bumble along. He holds grudges, will dig deep to sort issues and hang on like a dog with a bone. He hates my girl with a vengeance and has even said he'd wish her dead for what she's supposed to have done. My friends don't like him and don't visit now and we have no social life outside our own company. He accuses me of being wrapped up in my two horses, which we keep at home, always had horses since a child. He has his motorbikes.
I have other issues that came before him, I stupidly lent some substantial money to a person I thought I could trust and I'm struggling to get it back as the business is in the throws of administration and I'm being told I have to wait, It's been five years now and the original loan was supposed to be for a year, he wants me to force the issue through the police, maybe I should, I'm very non confrontational. He regularly threatens to leave me and goes into a non speaking spell for days on end, I just cry. He says he threatens me as it's the only way to get through to me, it's not, I hear him loud and clear but he always pushes things so far that I shut down. I have no self confidence left, no friends and no drive. I'm being forced to choose him or my daughter, she has currently said she'll walk away if I choose him, that he's mentally abusing me and I should get him gone and he says the same, lose, lose for me. To top it all my little dog bit his dog badly and he now wants my dog gone too. When things between us are good they are everything I could wish for, the relationship I never had with hubby #1 and deep down I love him to bits, he has been my cornerstone but I can't bear to lose my daughter from my life. Am I missing something or is it a no brainer and I really am the f*ckwit he says I am? I am a quiet sociable friendly person who will see the good in anything first and do what I can to help anybody. Currently being told he's leaving me, again, but he has nowhere to go and says he loves me but it's his way or no way it seems? Sorry for the essay.
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