I'm new here and posting because there is not one person in my life that I can openly share this info. with.
My husband and I have been married for almost 13 years. We have two kids and pretty much a storybook life on paper.
My husband is honestly an amazing man. He adores me, dotes on me, tells me he loves several times a day, calls just to say "hi", has a great job, helps around the house, helps with the kids, etc. Yes, he has his minor, petty flaws, but he really is a great catch.
The problem is, I have basically fallen out of love with him. I have been having these feelings for about 3 years but they have really intensified over the last year. Meaning, I'm wondering if I can really do this for the rest of my life.
The other problem is, he does not satisfy me sexually. At all. His penis is so small that I can barely feel it during sex. I could deal with this a little better when I was in love with him but it has pretty much become unbearable now. He is willing to go above and beyond in this area as well by other means but sometimes real, satisfying sex is what I want.
We have talked about the above issues. He knows that he doesn't satisfy me sexually but I can not bring myself to tell him that I don't really love him anymore. The thought of it just breaks my heart. Mainly for him.
And...the other problem. I have been having sex with another man for the past few months. The sex is amazing and I'm totally satisfied and somehow since it's truly "just sex" I have justified this in my head as being not as bad as a real affair. Yes, I know. Horrible. A real relationship will never develop out of this sexual affair and I have no doubt about that. In fact, I do not want a relationship with anyone else anytime soon, regardless of what happens with my husband and I.
I keep contemplating what to do. I have just felt like my life is in limbo for so long and it's been a constant state of anxiety that I feel for well over the past year. Our friends and families think that we are THE golden couple because of the way that my husband treats me. They will be so shocked if we separate.
And then there are my kids. How horrible will this be for them?
So I guess my question is...can you will yourself to fall back in love with someone? What is wrong with me that I am not in love with this amazing person?
Help!
My husband and I have been married for almost 13 years. We have two kids and pretty much a storybook life on paper.
My husband is honestly an amazing man. He adores me, dotes on me, tells me he loves several times a day, calls just to say "hi", has a great job, helps around the house, helps with the kids, etc. Yes, he has his minor, petty flaws, but he really is a great catch.
The problem is, I have basically fallen out of love with him. I have been having these feelings for about 3 years but they have really intensified over the last year. Meaning, I'm wondering if I can really do this for the rest of my life.
The other problem is, he does not satisfy me sexually. At all. His penis is so small that I can barely feel it during sex. I could deal with this a little better when I was in love with him but it has pretty much become unbearable now. He is willing to go above and beyond in this area as well by other means but sometimes real, satisfying sex is what I want.
We have talked about the above issues. He knows that he doesn't satisfy me sexually but I can not bring myself to tell him that I don't really love him anymore. The thought of it just breaks my heart. Mainly for him.
And...the other problem. I have been having sex with another man for the past few months. The sex is amazing and I'm totally satisfied and somehow since it's truly "just sex" I have justified this in my head as being not as bad as a real affair. Yes, I know. Horrible. A real relationship will never develop out of this sexual affair and I have no doubt about that. In fact, I do not want a relationship with anyone else anytime soon, regardless of what happens with my husband and I.
I keep contemplating what to do. I have just felt like my life is in limbo for so long and it's been a constant state of anxiety that I feel for well over the past year. Our friends and families think that we are THE golden couple because of the way that my husband treats me. They will be so shocked if we separate.
And then there are my kids. How horrible will this be for them?
So I guess my question is...can you will yourself to fall back in love with someone? What is wrong with me that I am not in love with this amazing person?
Help!
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment