how to forgive urself if u think u were the reason ur relationship didnt go well!!

i broke up with this guy 6 months ago.. he never told me exactly y he broke up with me, he did give several small unclear reasons bt in short he was nt really happy with him n i agree coz when we were in the relationship(4months) i was really happy coz he was really sweet n caring n everything, was always there for me. i think i never really cared much abt wt he wanted or really tried to understand him coz i was too engrossed in my own happiness. i had a experience with really creepy n pathetic guys in past n when i met him i was too delighted tht i couldnt handled it well.. after we broke up we tried to be friends bt somewhere i always kept tryin to start a relationship again bt he always said he liked me bt doesnt want a relationship for now.. so seeking for a hope i kept constant contact with him.. bt somehow he got the feeling tht i was after him.. n started ignoring me a bit(which i didnt get untill now) by saying hes busy at work etc.. i co uldnt understand wt really had to be done n still tried my best nt to annoy him bt still be in touch bt things got worse as he had almost made an image of me as some annoying ex gf whos still after him.. i realized everything tht the breakup was kind of my fault n how wrong it was for me to stop him from moving on.. n today i thought of calling him n clearing things up bt he had blocked my number.. i feel really pathetic now, this whole thing has really hurt my self respect. it feels everything was my fault, i drove him away, drove him away till this point tht he couldnt stand talking to me.. i feel terrible.. i dont think i want him i just want my self respect back n i want him to nt think of me as some useless pathetic girl who has no life of her own. i know m sounding like a complete mess bt right now i feel terrible can't concentrate on anything. in general m an optimistic person with a lively spirit bt right now i just feel devastated.. things which make my life worse is tht m 23 n currently unemployed, n my friends r all in relationships n i dont feel like meeting them.. i want my life to get back to normal track n i wanna be happy again which m nt for a long time now.. please help!

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