Married woman lusting after PASTOR!

I've had crushes yet i've never, ever acted on them. I've always understood that it is human nature. I've always been able to rationalize the crush and tell myself "you like these qualities in this person and that's ok." and i'd be done with it. I could just let the crush fade away and be fine. It was always so innocent. No flirting or anything. Well. Here I am with quite certainly the worst crush i've ever had in my life. I want it to be over. NOW. I started attending church regularly at the beginning of the year. I was so dedicated to returning to church, getting my family involved, and making God the center of my life. I mean DEDICATED. Every Sunday morning, some Sunday evenings, every Wednesday, kids in choir, me in classes. I felt great about it. But then, as usual, something began to deter me. I don't want to get into too many details, due to privacy issues. Anyways so I go to Sunday school with my husband and notice one of the guys in there was staring at me. Well, I thought he was staring at me, he could have just been staring at my husband and I since we were new. Long story short, I quickly recognized him as a guy that used to sit on the total opposite side of our (large) church. I had been there many times before I began going regularly. Back then, for whatever reason, my eyes always tended to wander in th at general vicinity and well, that's where he always was. TOTALLY not checking him out but you know how your eyes just naturally scan your surroundings? Like that..... but they always ended up on him for some reason. Again, not in any sort of romantic way at all. He could have been an older lady with a crazy hat for all I cared, he just happened to be there. So after we attended that Sunday school class, he sent both of us friend requests on FB because of his position in the church (again, don't wanna give out too many details, this is SO embarrassing). No big deal at ALL, I didn't even really find him all that attractive, honestly. Well time goes on and for one, I noticed on FB we are into a lot of the same things from music we like, movies we watch, both enjoy writing..... just really trivial, meaningless things in common. But I also noticed him continuously staring at me in church. Again, this could be in a "i'm just trying to figure you out" sort of way....... but I doubt it. You just don't stare at people like that. I began seeing him in places at the church that I frequented whereas, before, I hadn't seen him there. He'd just randomly "pop up". And so, I just sort of developed a crush on him. Totally innocent crush, no big deal.... but every time I saw him, it got worse..... and worse.... and worse.... to where I think abou t home constantly. That's where i'm at right now. I cannot stop thinking about him. I've tried, I really, really have. I am so disgusted with myself. I am beyond disgusted. This is not the type of person I am. I have VERY strong morals. I am a faithful and loyal person. I shun people who find themselves in situations like this. I can't focus in church very well...... well, I can, but it's really hard.... especially since this guy sometimes sits *right there* on the freaking stage...... I never seek him out in the crowd, ever. I always keep my eyes on the stage. I don't linger around, I try to move from one place to another very quickly so that I don't have to face him. I just want this crush (now obsession) to go away. I pray about it ALL THE TIME. I just pray it will end. I love my husband, I love my family. This guy is married. The whole situation is terrible. The thing is, he is a pastor, of all things. HOW did this even happen? I feel like satan himself is doing everything possible to keep me out of church because this is SO RANDOM. It's not as simple as just changing churches. We've finally gotten settled in the church. I felt like God lead me to this church for a reason. I connect so well with the (head) pastor, unlike ever before at any other churches. I truly feel like this is the church my family belongs in. I've avoided going to Sunday School this whole time because I didn't want to be around this guy..... but it finally got to the point where I felt like that was doing more harm than good because it kept him 'mysterious'. It is a couples class and so i'm only going to attend when my husband can attend. I wish so badly I could explain all of this to my husband without hurting him but I can't. He'd be livid. I am really sincere about this, i'm not just searching for someone to crush on....... it just happened and now I can't make it go away. Suggestions? Seriously, every time I find a church, something random happens to keep me away. I can't keep running from it all. How can I just make this stop without uprooting my family? I have kids that have made friends there and gotten used to their teachers....... and my husband loves the church which is AWESOME because he has never been the churchgoing type. If I were to tell them all we can't go anymore they would wonder what was up..... I hope someone can provide some insight or if anything, pray for me. This isn't healthy at ALL for my sanity or my relationship with God..... or for my marriage.... Btw, i've casually deleted him from my FB..... but the damage is already done since I now know his twitter..... and blog (STALKER, MUCH?!?!) and so, I sort of keep tabs on him and can't bring myself to stop. When Sunday rolls around, i'm thinking about him..... and then I tell myself to KNOCK IT OFF, i'm going there to worship GOD for Christ's sake.... then I pray to make it through the service without seeing him or thinking about him. I pray that I can focus on the message.... and I can get through the sermon just fine, unless I see him. Usually I don't anymore because I make it a point to not look around..... but like I said, sometimes he ends up on stage, or worse, standing right there at the end of our aisle.

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