Husband Says He Wants Separation but Won't Leave

I am new here but have been reading posts on here for a while. I finally decided to create an account. Anyway, I am 45 years old and have been married for 12 years. We have two boys (ages 9 and 11). Our marriage has been pretty solid (or so I thought) for the most part. We have had some ugly fights over the years. Nothing physical but nasty words have been exchanged by both of us. My husband is very funny but many times over the years has made many jokes at my expense. Some of these jokes would be the cause of some of our more heated arguments. This is so difficult to write because there is so much to tell. I think our really big problems started last November. He started getting a bit too friendly (for my comfort zone) with a female co-worker. One night he was out with her and his female boss until 1:00 a.m. during the week when we both have to get up and go to work in the morning. I probably overreacted a bit to that behavior but following that was his office xmas party, where no spouses were included, and he didn't get home from that one until 3:00 a.m. Again on a work/school night. I was not very happy about that either. From there, it went to the three of them texting - ALOT - and not about work. I just found it all to be annoying and inappropriate. He saw nothing wrong with any of this and just kept on doing it. All of this behavior led me to start feeling insecure in the relationship which I had never been insecure before. There were also a few business trips in there where he was out until all hours, not answering his phone, etc. We started getting fighting more and more, tried marriage counseling but it didn't last for more than a few visits. I don't think either of us felt comfortable with her. This past spring, back in April, he told me that he wanted to separate. That he did not want to work on the marriage and that he was out. I was devastated and resorted to all the usual bad behavior of crying, begging, pleading, etc. I finally went to an attorney and had a consultation. He did the same. Then he drafted up a separation agreement himself. He sent it to me and I eventually ended up sending it to my attorney who rewrote the entire thing. During all of this, we kept going back and forth, back and forth on working on the marriage. I wanted to work on it especially for the sake of the kids. We tried another counselor and have been seeing him for a while but it still doesn't feel like we are moving forward. My husband is constantly saying that we aren't getting any better even though I have tried very hard to give him his space. I don't call him at work or email him unless it's necessary. He does not seem to care if he hears from me or not or if I am home or not. His demeanor is very cool and aloof. The man does not look at me like he loves me at all. He says he still loves me and cares about me but we are not good for each other. Anyway, where we are now is still nowhere. He has had the revised separation agreement now for nearly a month. As far as I know, he has done nothing with it. I have not heard from attorney so I would assume he has not gone to his with it. I have asked him to move out because I am so tired of this roller coaster ride that seems like it will never come to an end. As far as I know, he has done nothing in that area either. I am at a loss to this point as to what to do. I want him to either commit to the relationship and the marriage or end it so that we can both move on with our lives. It feels like he is going to do neither. I would appreciate any advice, thoughts, speculation, etc. I apologize in advance if I am not giving enough detail or information in this thread but it is exhausting just writing what I have written.

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