surreal cheating in front of my eyes

Hi i am new to the forum I have been reading the posts for just on two weeks and really start to understand what some of you have been through. I am a 48 year old male been married for 15 years started seeing my wife (soon to be ex) 17 years ago, we have two kids My Son 20 years old From my wives previous relationship (I adopted him) and my daughter 14 years old. We moved to New Zealand 2.5 years ago, now I being a citizen sponsored my wife so she can get her residence this came through 3 months ago. We bought a house in December 2012 and she had her parents come over to visit telling them how happy she was with her new house etc. We got friendly with the new Neighbors. Dave who owns the house but works overseas, Pete and bee who rent the house and are friends with Dave. Now this seemed all good my wife was very friendly with Bee a girly friendship (not a Problem) so she spent a lot of time next door sometimes come home late. I have trusted my wife for 17 years so I was OK with that. About three weeks ago I noticed that my wife was not wearing her wedding ring I asked her were it was and she said she lost it in the move but thinks they might be in a box some were I looked at photos taken this year and she was wearing the ring ? so I asked her are you sure you lost those rings she said they around the house so I accused her of pawning the rings and out she came (yes I did so what are you going to do about it) Nothing I said but why did you pawn them she said because I never give her any money. I was very upset about this and there were a lot more lies to follow basically every thing I asked her about from this point was a lie to cut a long story short on the 8/7/2013 I caught her having sexual intercourse with Dave. This was a surreal moment a night mare that plays through in my head I opened there front door walked into the house in to the room and watched them having sex while I had a million things running through my mind it took all my inner strength to stop myself from violence I just waited till she told her lover switch of the light it is so bright in here and when they got up they were speechless they had been caught in the act. I kicked her out of the house there and then and told Dave he was a two faced c**t and to keep is F**ck*** hoar that she was his problem now. What seems Ironic to me is I feel like the failure as these cheaters do not seem to have remorse she moved out does not care about our son and has met with my daughter once and is trying to get her to move in with Dave so they can be one happy family she told my daughter not to tell me but she tells me everything they may even be planning to move to another country. My question is how do you cause a train wreck and just walk away from the injured passengers with out remorse. any advise on moving forward

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979