I think my wife is a lesbian.

Ok. So... Been married almost 7 years and I have a fantastic relationship with my wife. We have a new baby who is wonderful and finally sleeping through the night, we own our own home, are financially stable, happy and have a lot of good friends. Life is perfect. My wife and I are both attractive people, we take care of ourselves, dress well, etc. etc. When we were first married, we both liked to party a lot. We had great times with friends, trips to the bar and club, vacations, etc. During this time, I would say the first two years of our marriage, we had a very active and fulfilling sex life and communicated a lot about our fantasies, tried a lot of new things, etc. In addition, its important to note that we married in our late 20s and both had quite a bit of experience behind us. At some point my wife decided that she no longer wanted to party so much and instead wanted to focus on having a family. I was completely game and have made a lot of sacrifices to make her dreams a reality, however our sex life rapidly went from being absolutely amazing, to being essentially mutual masterbation. It has gotten worse over the years, no matter what I try to do to fix the situation. Simple pleasures like blowjobs are nonexistent or at least badly applied and even a change in position or location is out of the question for my wife - she acts like sex is a chore. I have longed for good sex ever since. I tried talking to her about our sex life a million times, in every way imaginable. She claims our sex life is great, she is satisfied - but I dont see how this can be possible because I REMEMBER what she was like when she was "sexually satisfied". I started paying amore attention to her, doing more around the house, trying to be more romantic and loving, asking her what she wants and how she feels, told her my feelings, etc. I even went to a therapist who recommended that if I was so happy in marriage but my wife was not sexual anymore, that I should consider infidelity as an option (I swear thats what $200 per hour, weekly sessions for six months got me). I now masterbate almost every day like when I was a teenager, which is more out of frustration than anything else. Here's where the "title" comes in: One day (about two years ago) we went to a birthday party with some friends. My wife decided to party for once and got drunk, but I stayed sober as I was driving. We had a lot of fun at the party. I ended up taking her home as well as one of my buddys wives (also very attractive). About half way home, my wife told me to pull the vehicle over, which I did. She then climbed into the back and the two girls literally had sex - my wife was very aggressive. I was stunned. I drove home while my wife had sex with a friend in the back seat. I was very turned on, but the fact is... she did not do it for me and I was not invited to participate. In fact, I was essentially just "the driver". Nobody asked my permission and the show was not for my pleasure. My wife later dismissed the night as being meaningless. She told me numerous times that she is not interested in women. She only fantasizes about me, she only wants sex with me, she is sexually satisfied, etc. etc. I have told her that I want her to be open with me, that it is ok to fantasize, that I am even open to having an "open relationship" because frankly I am not getting what I want out of our "sex life". Nothing has changed and she is "not interested" in trying anything different or doing anything different. She told me if I am with someone else she will divorce me. Its torture. I have noticed some closeness between my wife and one or two of her friends, kisses on the cheek that linger a little longer than they should, one of her friends calling her "baby" and then giving me a quick look to see if I noticed. When I mention anything my wife says I am being paranoid or a pervert. WTF? Its not me who climbed in the back seat of a car and had sex with one of my buddies while she drove me home from a party. If she wont have meaningful sex with me and wont talk about it, what am I supposed to think? I feel like a complete fool, but I dont know if she is lying to me, or telling me the truth and I dont want to ruin what is otherwise a fantastic relationship because of my own insecurity. I know I am going on and on, but the only way we have sex is lying on our sides with me inside her while she uses a vibrator to stimulate herself to orgasm. I am a sexual dynamo, I have a massive sex drive and I have always thought of sex as one of the most important parts of my life. I married my wife because I loved her, but also because we really connected sexually. I have lost that. When she tells me she is sexually fullfilled and still attracted to me, I know she is lying because I KNOW what she used to be like and she was a very fun and sexually charged woman. Please. WTF... I have tried everything, counseling, years and years of discussion. When you subtract a meaningful sex life from a relationship it is DEVASTATING. I love my wife and she can have anything she wants, I want to be with her forever, but I feel unloved and unappreciated. I need to be with a woman who wants me sexually, so that I can feel fulfilled again, but the only options that seem viable at this point are divorce, or infidelity. Please some advice... I am so f@#$# frustrated.

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