How do I know if ... ?

We have been married for almost 15 years. Our marriage feels "empty". All affection is gone and/or all affection I show is rejected. We sleep in separate rooms. We try to talk about it, or at least did until about 2 years ago, and I almost always get evasive answers. Sometimes I get a small concrete answer but I am criticized for trying to fix the problem because, I am told, I am supposed to keep the problem from ever happening in the first place. How do I know what the problem is? Am I the problem? Am I just whining? Am I just "throwing a pity party"? This behavior has gone on for years. All advice I receive fails. I don't know what to do.

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