Help with son

Been married 12 years. we have one daughter together, she had a son when we got married. He is now 13 A little history: 5 years ago my wife left me for 2 months, I was running 4 companies and was working 16+ hours a day, I was always in a bad mood. I shut down all but 1 of the companies, and things returned to normal. She said she couldn't take any more of the "b!tching about him being lazy and me being gone all the time". We worked out our problems and everything has been good, except the stuff with our son. I am the only father he has ever known. Took him in to be my own when I was 19 years old. I consider him my son just like our daughter. His bio died 3 years ago. His bio was a useless piece of crap, never paid support, never kept a job, was lazy, and never tried to see his son. My problem is this: Our daughter is a typical smart azz drama queen. I can just get onto her and she starts crying and starts acting right. Sometimes she argues about doing stuff when she is told, but makes a big effort to complete her chores/tasks/schoolwork correctly and in a timely manner. Our son is very lazy, although he is borderline genius IQ of 133. He has ADD and is medicated. I have tried every thing that I know of to get him to TRY at everything he does, but I just cannot get through to him. I have yelled, tried spankings, taking stuff from him, and even tried positive reinforcements. NOTHING will make him act like he cares. He is a very well behaved kid. If you ask him to do something he will jump right on it, but rarely finish's doing anything. He will start then half way get the job done and just stop. It's just like he doesn't care. School work is no different, he does just barely enough to get by. I am afraid this is going to continue into his adult hood causing major problems holding a job or getting through college. My wife lets him get away with anything and doesn't seem to think this is an issue. She is very easy on him and gets mad because I ride his butt constantly. Although sometimes she will just lose it and go crazy on him about it, this is very rarely. I try to be consistent with my punishment and persuation with him. This problem with him has been about the only major problem with our marriage, besides when my wife left me for being so stressed out from running 4 companies at one time and never being home. (I posted on here about this as well around 5 years ago) She is back on her streak with me being too hard on him. I honestly just want him to act like he cares and make an effort to do stuff in a timely manner. It doesn't so much bother me that he is lazy or doesn't try, I just want to "raise him right" so that he excels in his adult years. Here is an example. Chores children rotate days cleaning up after dinner. My daughter did the dishs night before last, she completed the task in less than 20 minutes, I had to tell her a couple of small things to do such as wipe the counter and put up the baking stone. Last night was my son's turn. He began at 8:40, I fell asleep for a period, when I woke up at 10 pm he was still in there just standing around not half way done. My wife was in there studying the entire time and didn't say a word to him. I am lost on what to do. My wife says I am too hard on him, and I probably am at some times. It is just so frustrating to see him with so much potential and is borderline genius, to waste his skills by not trying in anything that he does. The only thing that he puts his all into is video games. It's like nothing else is important to him.

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979