Married Women Advice Needed: Am I Being Materialistic/ Selfish?

My parents didn't have a happy marriage, they are still together nonetheless and there are less fights/arguments since they are older now. But I didn't exactly have a pleasant childhood because they'd have yelling arguments very often and sometimes they'd get so bad that chairs were being thrown (seriously). My mom always tells me to marry a very financially stable guy that can take care of me (the richer the better in her opinion). She said that she didn't marry my dad for money and she didn't think it was that important. But she later learned the hard way how bad life can get when the husband can't provide enough. My mom had to work a full time job all her life on top of taking care of the kids in order help support us. And many times the arguments she had with dad was about bills/mortgage and the lack of money. Now, I have a boyfriend that I've been dating for a year and half now and he has been telling me that he wants a family with me. He's loyal, affectionate, kind and smart. We are both grad students right now. He will get a 100k salary with his profession once he graduates in 1 year. But he owes over 300k student loan (the interest is evil...he'd have to pay back over $3000 per month for the loan plus interest). I am pursuing a PhD track after I graduate and that means I will be in school with zero income for at least another 3-4 years. I am 29 and he's 33. I honestly want to get married and have kids in 1 or 2 years. But it seems it will be very difficult considering he won't graduate for another year and he'd have to pay off loan/interest every month with his starting salary. And I don't want to give up my dream of PhD, so I'd have to rely on him to pay for a marriage / potential children. I wanted to get a PhD that allows me to teach part-time while I spend time taking care of the children, but this would seem impossible as I'd have to work full time in order to help support the family. So here comes the selfish question "should I be with someone who makes more money to live the life that I want?" My mom wants me to look for someone who is more financially ready and have been working for a while to be able to provide for a family/children sooner. She said that in the long term, whatever love I have can be erroded when money becomes an issue. My best friend has a crush on me for as long as I've known him. He's also a great guy and we connect mentally very well, even better than my boyfriend. But I just don't feel the chemistry / spark with him like I do with my boyfriend. The lack of physical attraction for my best friend is the reason why I choose to stay friends. He, however, never stopped telling me that he thinks I am the one he wants to be for the rest of his life and that he'd drop everything for me if I change my mind. And he does very well financially that he can provide for family/children without me ever have to work full-time. Now, I am really confused....or starting to contemplate if it'll be a better idea to pick my best friend instead as a potential life partner. All the married women, can you please give input on how money has affected your marriage, if it has. I'd prefer it if you gave honest reflection on your own marriage and money issues. Please don't sugar coat anything for me. I know there are good and bad in marriage, money is not the end of marriage. But I also want to gain some insights into how I can prepare for it and assess what I am willing to do.

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