Making Amends

I have been married to my husband of 7yrs, it was the most stable relationship even then. And this is the hardest part, I was the problem, I was constantly comparing my husband to people I wanted him to be like, and my career was booming, and he was retreating. I left him in the dust and then beat him down as if it were all his fault. He is extremely emotionally spent and torn down at this point due to my harsh treatment as well as two affairs. The first affair was with my ex husband prior to him that began over some unresolved feelings. I ended it and my husband and I tried to make it work. The damage was great, we were trying but it was just too much for us. I had a second affair, we even made an attempt after that but then when i finally realized and woke up to what I was doing and had done, the roles were reversed. He was the one beating me down out of anger emotionally out of so much resentment. We separated last August. We haven't spoke in over a month because there is still a lot of hostility and anger. I know getting back together is more then likely not going to happen. But through he avy therapy and a complete turn around in my attitude and emotional state I desperately want to, in some way make amends, tell him how deeply sorry I am for all the hurt and pain i have caused him. that he didnt ever deserve the torment i have put him through and I recognize that i tore us apart and our family. Is it too soon? Should I even bother? What would be a good point to start that conversation if I should even have it?

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