| When it rains it really pours. Here is my story. I have been reading TAM, and some other forums for quite some time…just as most people here. I have been in what I thought was a good marriage, better than average. Almost 12 years married, but we go way back, before high school…on and off. Two wonderful kids, 5 & 7. A year ago (three days short) my XW gave me the usual talk, ILBNILWY, she was unhappy for the whole time…bla bla bla. You know how it goes. I begged, cried, lost 40 lb (never looked better). A week later I found out about OM, coworker, married too. False R couple of times, she moves out I file for divorce few months later and everything was done pretty quick. I lose my job due to downsizing, and was out of work for almost two months. She took half of my 401K, child support, left me with the house which is in a foreclosure now. Few days ago I got a letter from the bank that I must vacate the house by 4/11. Today I found out that I am going to lose this job too due to downsizing, and me being the new guy. So here I am…no money, closest family lives in Europe, gonna lose my house and job soon. I just do not know what to do. I have a couple of close friends who offered me to stay with them till I get back on my feet. So what am I looking for? I don't know. Just venting I guess. Life sucks, for now. Reading some of the stories here makes me feel like I'm not alone, but hell, it feels like it. Makes me feel some of you have it worse than me…but again. I am not giving up, even though suicidal thoughts come every once in a while. Giving up is not an option. My boys and my family don't deserve that. My boys have to learn from me not to give up, like their mother did. A year of IC helped I think. Even though I lost a lot in the last year I still keep my head high, my consciousness is clean, and I know there are people who love me and care about me. I can look at myself in the mirror and I like the man I am now. The divorce taught me a lot about life, people, relationships, friendships, love and life in general. Life will get better, probably not as good as it once was but I AM NOT GIVING UP!!! I still miss my kids, miss being part of the family…hell I even miss my ex-wife. And yes, to be honest I still dream about reconciliation. But her guilt is not allowing her to even talk to me :scratchhead:. I have forgiven her. Not worth it keeping it inside. There it is...feels better a bit. Sorry about random rambling, I am not the best at expressing my self by writing. Thanks for reading | |||
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When you have had enough let it out. A forum style blog about relationship issues and concerns,join in and have your say.
When it rains...
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