Marriages effected by other couple's divorce?

I am sure that someone here must have been in this situation so I would appreciate any guidance on the matter. When my husband and I first moved in together we were fortunate enough to make friends with another couple in our apartment building. We became really close friends with them to the point that when they had their first child we were the first to know about the pregnancy and the birth. We trusted each other completely with our kids. We did lots of things as couples and families and had lot's of fun. We relied on them and they relied on us. Of course I was closer to the wife and my hubby was close to hers. We knew their marriage was rocky and their finances unstable. We watched as other family and friends slowly diassociated themselves from our friends' drama until little by little we were their only remaining couples friends, maybe even the only friends that they had left. My husband and I knew that "Mike" was borderline emotionally abusive toward "Karen" and he had a habit of lying about his accomplishments. But in all other respects Mike was a great guy. Fairly mild mannered, great with the kids, and a hard worker. I often would talk to Karen to try to get her go to counseling (and go to counseling with him) and she pushed me away with long periods of silence during which I missed my friend. Eventually, I felt like I had to either accept what she was telling me or stop being friends completely. Of course my husband was empathising with "Mike" and telling me that we didn't really know what was going on behind closed doors and that we shouldn't assume anything. This went off and on for the last thirteen years. Until Mike and Karen agreed to let one of Mike's male relatives live in their house since he was broke and needed a place to stay. My husband warned Mike that this was not a good idea but neither Mike nor Karen wanted to give up on this relative. A few months later I was shocked at a phone call from Karen saying that Mike was in jail and that she was going to divorce him but she didn't want us to hate Mike. Without getting into the horrid details I think you you can kind of see where this is heading. They did indeed divorce and it has been war ever since between them and my husband and I are pawns in their divorce. We are usually seen as siding with one or the other even when we don't even give an opinion. Apparently being friends with either of them at all is enough to be thought of as on one side or the other. I dissasociated myself from both of them for over a year and had another child in the interim (without my best friend there through the pregnancy) But mys husband stayed friends with Mike and would often take Mike's side against Karen. After a long separation Karen contacted me and told me she missed me and couldn't I please try to like her new boyfriend for her sake. The truth is that I missed her as well and agreed to at least tolerate this man for her sake. Only now I feel like I am doing the same thing with this new man that I did with Mike and am making the situation worse for all involved. I know now that all my previous suspicions about Mike's abusiveness were confirmed but at the same time Karen had had an affair with Mike's relative in his own home (and they are still together in that house while Mike is living elsewhere) which my husband, of course thinks is horrible. On top of that I do not like this man for taking advantage of Karen in her emotional state eit her and his presence is causing lots of tension with the children whom I love like my own family. Long story short, however, things have been rocky in my own marriage as of late. Even though Mike and Karen are not the cause, I feel like as my husband "'defends" Mike that I am seeing a very unpleasant side of my own husband. And wonder if we were to divorce if my own husband would treat me like Mike treats Karen now. Also Karen swears that she is much happier now and I have often heard that when one couple gets a divorce other couples follow. Any advice?

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