lost drama queen

Below is a link to the thread that's landed me here asking you for your feedback. If you read down the thread you will see how I'm asked if it is in my nature to be manipulative and whether this nature lead to my divorce. http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...ng-beware.html I am calling it like I see it in my original thread. Whether I have qualities that make it difficult for me to relate at times, of this there is no doubt. And people who want to feel they are above being imperfect, I would appreciate a chill attitude so the rest of the mortals can get it worked out, or at least I would like this chance please. I am bipolar II. I won't claim more than this, though I will say my upbringing has contributed a great deal to what I have learned about interacting with people so that it's not just the bipolar at work now but a whole cluster of learned behaviors that I learned directly or learned in response to the situations in which I found myself. Regardless, I know there have been things about me that drew my ex away, that made my marriage difficult, that broke our relationship, which, looking back, in some ways, was a really good one. As I've said elsewhere, he was, and is, a good man. I am grieving over this today. Well, not just today, but you know what I mean, in the present. After the divorce, I numbed myself with a lot of dating. I was covering a lot of pain. And now I'm face to face with my inadequacies and failure and it hurts like hell. In a sec I'll look up the link to my story and provide it in an edit below. Thanks for reading. Edit: Ok, here is a link to an overview of my story. The thread is informative too. http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...happen-me.html I can't go back to my ex. He won't have me. I've begged him numerous times, even as late as the final mediation, but it's kaput. So I would prefer no more barking up that tree as they say. Although certainly looking back, one can certainly learn from their mistakes so that there may be a chance for a healthy relationship at some point in the future. I just need to get the ball rolling and I'm not sure exactly how to start, only request that you check out the links and ask me questions you might have - ? p.s. My teeth are chattering and my hands are shaking it makes me so nervous just to write this and I realize I've probably barely skimmed the surface. Please understand. I'm not looking for validation of the "rightness" of me but...

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