Renewing Contact

Didn't know if this was the appropriate place to post this but I wanted some thoughts from folks about this issue that has recently been troubling me. About 5 years ago by sister and BIL divorced. They had been married almost 30 years at the time and they had been together and he had been part of my life since I was in my early teens (am in my earlier 50s now). He had developed an EA with a co-worker, I don't know if it got to a PA before he and my sister got divorced. As a bit of a background my sister is a very, VERY difficult personality and the joke around the family always was to ask him "how do you put up with all the crap you do"? Well I guess he finally decided he couldn't and one thing lead to another. Now I don't condone the cheating and he really should have gotten out before he acted on his attraction to his new friend but I can not change the past. He has now been married the the OW for about 3 years now. I have had no contact with him since the divorce but lately I've been wondering if it would be appropriate for me to contact him to catch up and see how his life is. He is godfather to one of my kids and literally has had no contact with any of my children or others in our immediate family since the divorce. He kept up contact for a while after the D but it started to get awkward and the communication ceased. I think one of the overriding reasons no one in my immediate family had pursued keeping a relationship with him is because my sister can be extremely vindictive and would have a bad reaction to it and made life miserable for all of us. I get it about supporting my sister in this and as I said no one condones what he did although we can understand his reasons albeit not the way he did it but the guy was like an older brother to me and I have had the loss of some people close to me lately and also some battling some significant health problems so I got to thinking about the fleeting nature of life and relationships. It literally was like he was just cut out of all our lives after the D. So for anyone who has been on the other side of a family divorce have you ever kept contact with your relatives ex, or anyone else who has some thoughts on this I'd like to hear them. This has really got me torn. Thanks for any input.

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