please help

I have been married for 31 years - great marriage with 3 grown kids. My husband had a radical prostatectomy for prostate cancer and ended up with ED. The treatments so far have been unsuccessful. There is the possibility that they will be successful in the future and that he will get better over time. My husband, who used to be a loving husband who was always after me sexually just shut down after his surgery. I told my husband that I am fine without intercourse but I cannot be in a marriage with no intimacy or affection. I am talking about hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc. at this point because I would never pressure my husband to do what he was incapable of doing. My husband has cut off all physical contact and affection. I have made my needs clear to him again and again but he does not touch me. I asked my husband if he has lost his desire for me and he says no. I know that something is wrong. I know it is not me, it has to do with him. He won't open up to me or discuss it. I realize that ED is a tremendous deal for a man, that he must feel that he has lost his manhood, etc. I don't feel that me needing a physical relationship with him is asking too much. Sometimes I am OK with it, and sometimes I feel so lonely and feel like I cannot take it. It is worst on weekends when he ignores me because that is when he would make love before he had his surgery. I am not the type to cheat. The thought never crossed my mind before prostate cancer. I believe that it is wrong in both a moral and religious sense, because it would be breaking my vows. I love my husband, I am very attracted to him and he is the man that I want. When I am constantly ignored however, I find myself thinking of going outside my marriage. I doubt that I would act on it, but I do think about it. I don't want to ever cheat. But the thought of it is like my emotional "out" when I feel so sad about his behavior. Do you have any advice for me. I am trying to shut down my need for intimacy but it is not happening easily. I have always been a faithful and devoted wife. I would like to stay that way but I don't know how to cope with this situation.

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