Apologies within marriage

I have noticed a pattern with my husband that actually has pretty much always been the case, but I hadn't consciously thought about it until recently. He pretty much NEVER says I'm sorry voluntarily and without a "but..." The only times he will apologize to me for saying/doing something hurtful to me is if I confront him about it directly. Even then, most times his apology has a "but"..."I'm sorry I got mad and yelled at you for wanting to get counseling for yourself, but you have to understand that I was really tired that night and you took me by surprise and..." So, he will either go to bed angry or leave for work angry and give me the ice cold shoulder, then the next morning or when he gets home from work, he acts all fine and talkative, asks how my day was, does things to try to compensate like being overly attentive to me....but he will NEVER say he's sorry for acting like an ass and allowing me to be upset about it all day or night. I've become so accustomed to this, I don't let it ruin my day anymore like I used to, but it still irks me that he can act badly and then expect me to just forget all about it pretend it never happened. Do I apologize to him? Yes. Too much. In fact, I've found myself being the one to apologize to him for "making him mad" when it's something that I shouldn't need to apologize for (like telling him I am depressed and would like to get counseling). Guys and gals, do you freely and readily apologize to your spouse when you've done something to upset them? Or do you "apologize" by suddenly acting nicer and being more attentive and pretend the incident never happened?

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