Hi, I won't post my whole story here but I am a BW, married 20 years, SAHM and have been in R for 1 year this month...just past 1year anniversary of DD2.
I am very depressed mostly due to coming to terms with the death of the vision I had for myself when I married. I realize now (too late) that I was in total denial about all aspects of my relationship with my husband. My whole identity was tied up as his wife and as a mother. Totally my fault and my mistake.
Anyway, my wish would be that we can survive and build a strong marriage but from reading CWI it seems the odds are against us especially with our history.
Despite my wish I am thinking more and more about what life without my husband would be like. I am rather cynical at this point in time about relationship and don't have a strong desire to date again.
I can envision myself in a small apartment/condo in a safe neighborhood with a job which provides enough money for me to survive. It would be a drastic change in standard of life for me but I don't mind that part.
My question is how many of you ladies who are divorced and without a partner in your late 40s are happy and fulfilled? I always envisioned myself growing old with my husband just like my parents. But I wonder if I can be happy and content alone as it seems I am heading that way.
Just looking for some hope.
I am very depressed mostly due to coming to terms with the death of the vision I had for myself when I married. I realize now (too late) that I was in total denial about all aspects of my relationship with my husband. My whole identity was tied up as his wife and as a mother. Totally my fault and my mistake.
Anyway, my wish would be that we can survive and build a strong marriage but from reading CWI it seems the odds are against us especially with our history.
Despite my wish I am thinking more and more about what life without my husband would be like. I am rather cynical at this point in time about relationship and don't have a strong desire to date again.
I can envision myself in a small apartment/condo in a safe neighborhood with a job which provides enough money for me to survive. It would be a drastic change in standard of life for me but I don't mind that part.
My question is how many of you ladies who are divorced and without a partner in your late 40s are happy and fulfilled? I always envisioned myself growing old with my husband just like my parents. But I wonder if I can be happy and content alone as it seems I am heading that way.
Just looking for some hope.
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