Hello everyone! I have been reading this forum for the last couple of weeks. As you can all understand, I am at a crossroad and need any all kind of help urgently. I would like to thank you in advance for taking the time to read about my problems and providing any suggestion.
I have known my wife for 7 years. We met in college and fell in love. I am from a country where some families are pretty conservative and having a GF/BF before marriage sometimes attracts opposition from family members. Nevertheless, we continued the relationship and it really turned into a beautiful thing.
I used to be a very optimistic kind of person, always willing to help others. Although, I was also very prone to anger. My parents didn't have a cordial relationship. My brother and I grew up in a dysfunctional and chaotic household. In fact, I cannot even remember a single day that went without any bickering. My father suspected my mother of cheating, my mother accused my father of being a heartless monster. I felt like they both had issues and instead of working it through they are just blaming each other. How little I knew that I was also going to do the same thing!
After college, my GF and I went to another country for further studies. We have met each other everyday for more than 2 years by that time. MY GF was a very worrying kind of person, and used to nag a lot. Nevertheless, I loved her (and still do) with all my heart. As soon as we reached the foreign land, my GF started feeling lonely. We could not talk a lot on phone either because of monetary issues. In the meantime, my GF developed a crush over a boy at her university. She told me that. She also told me that she let that person know of her feelings on his birthday. She said that she didn't do anything else and I should respect her for the honesty. She also blamed me for ignoring her. I became extremely mad though and broke off with her. I became suicidal and started quarreling with her all the time. She became depressed. Both if us started having problems with our studies and life became a living hell. She told me that if I leave her she will stay single her whole life and never be with anyone else. My heart melt and we started to resolve our issues. We started visiting each other as often as we could and the relationship was saved (or so I thought). She would still spend a lot of time with another boy who would take her for long drive. I let her enjoy and tried to be as civil as possible. Although when we had a fight I would sometimes nag her about it. But I trusted her and whatever I said was due to my own insecurity and not because of her.
The one thing I realize now is that I never truly forgave her for developing the crush. I felt like if I can stay true to her and even move away from temptations (I had one classmate head over heels for me), then why couldn't she? I failed to realize that everyone is unique and we all need to forgive and forget. After that incident whenever we had an argument I would bring back the past and blame her. I would always demand to know where she was and with whom and if she wouldn't tell me, I would get mad. And then she would get mad for trying to control her. I never asked her not to go anywhere though, I just wanted to make sure that she was safe. I didn't realize what a freak I became.
After completing studies, I didn't want to live in the foreign land so we both left. However, she kept blaming me for leaving the foreign place. She became very depressed, cried every night, and threatened of breaking off our relationship. We also had troubles getting jobs initially. However I landed a job after sometime. However, I held myself responsible for her misery and so I decided to leave my home country again for some more studies in the foreign land. I thought this way she could return to place where she wanted to live. However, she got a good job in our home country and decided to stay back. After spending one year apart from each other, we finally got married after knowing each other for five years. My family wanted to wait one more year but my GF threatened that she would marry somewhere else if we don't get married soon.
As I said, we hail from conservative background, and we never had sex before marriage. Although we did other things, we never went all the way. It was her decision and I respected it. I never forced myself on her even though we lived together for quite some time. On the night of marriage she developed cold feet and said it hurt too much and we should try it later. However, on our honeymoon she was on her period and even after I asked her to take some medicine to defer it, she didn't. The honeymoon was a disaster. We fought (it was mainly my fault) and she later told me that she didn't enjoy the honeymoon. I was so angry that she didn't defer her period that I failed to realize that it was a lot more than sex.
After marriage, I went back to the foreign land. We spent about a fortnight together after marriage. And she always put off sex. We decided to meet after six months. She would have come to visit me. However, she started having problems with my mother and both sides said nasty things to each other. My wife left our house and started living with her parents again. She became very depressed and cried every night. My mother didn't bother to bring her back even after my father specifically asked her to. She felt like I didn't stand up to my mother for her. I felt like if I fight a lot with my mother, she might blame my wife for that and the relationship will get spoiled further. My mother fought with us even the day before I left my home country. My wife cried all night after I left. My wife could not visit me in six months since she had too much work and I couldn't since I had no money. I made a crucial mistake, I should have swallowed the pride and ask her or my family for money, but I thought our relationship was too strong and took her for granted. She also said that it is better to save now since we will need it in the future when there are children. I deposited whatever I could save in her bank account too.
Things started getting worse. She would cry more often and would plead me to bring her with me. I agreed and asked her multiple times to leave the job and stay with me. Or join a program with me. But she would say that she would like to keep the job so that she could support me. Around this time, her nagging also seemed to get lowered. I didn't realize that it was the beginning of the end. What a fool I was. After marriage, for a couple of months I got so busy with studies that I couldn't devote much time to her. She once told me that if I cannot take her responsibility then I should let her go.
Also, around nine months after marriage, she stopped talking to me too much. Previously we used to talk a lot and video chat a lot. But she started spending time with her friends on weekends (3 men, 3 women including my wife). So even during weekends, she wouldn't talk to me much. I became angry and asked whether her friends were more important to her than I was. She said that since she had to live with her parents even after marriage and living the life of a bachelor, she needs something to free her mind after whole week's work. I tried to work it out, even pleaded with her to video chat with me at least once in a week, but she didn't. She even stopped talking to me on phone during the way or on the way of her office which she used to do all this time, not even during the lunch break. She started going to office with some coworker(s?) who lived close by and never let me know who they were. She even went out for outings with her group of friends and during one of those outings didn't talk to me for a whole day even after I called her about forty times (till 11:30 pm in the night). I called her parents and they told me that she called them. But she didn't pick up my calls. I became so angry that next time when she talked to me I accused her of cheating and said mean things. She said that the phone was in one room and she was in another. But why couldn't she at least call me back when she called her parents?
One year after marriage, we had time to meet again. I would have gone to meet her. However, I foolishly took some extra work and made her come to me. She never liked to travel alone and this completely broke her. She repeatedly told me that she was going to do it just for me and she is coming just for shopping. At that time I didn't read too much into it. When we met I was so happy. After we fell in love, I went to sleep every night thinking of her, and I woke up every morning thinking of her. I still do. She also seemed happy, but she later told me that she was irritated all the time and thought that I would feel it. Now when I look back, she seemed irritated sometimes and we also fought on some occasions. I even once said that I was doing everything I could. She later told me that even though I did everything she didn't `feel' anything. She said that she felt guilty about that and was feeling sorry for me. She didn't want to have sex either saying that we didn't see each other for a long time and she needs time. I gave her time. But she kept putting it off. After two or three weeks, she finally decided to have sex. But after we started doing it she lost interest and wanted me to stop. I became angry and asked her if there was someone else. I even said that I saw a woman with her likeness and face blurred on a porn site. She got really hurt. After that I have cursed myself a million times for being so insensitive to her needs and being a complete jerk and only wish I could take those things back.
She left for our home country after a couple of weeks as she had no holidays left. After that, our conversation got scarcer and scarcer. Sometimes she wouldn't even talk to me on her way home and would rather talk to other people in the office car. She also used to return home late like 11-12 in the night and left for office around 8 in the morning. I still didn't think too much into it and knew that she had a hectic job.
So we got married last summer. And our fighting got really serious for the last couple of months. At he end of October, during one of our fights I became so angry that she is not talking to me enough, that I asked if she has no emotional attachment to me anymore. To this she said yes, she doesn't love me anymore. Before that question was asked she started crying and was telling me that she is emotionally vulnerable right now. Still I went ahead like a headless bull and asked her the question. She said that she had already told her parents and her parents are trying to persuade her to think of everything calmly. She told me that she had given it a lot of thoughts and our last meeting was her last try to see if things would work out. She also said that if she loved me even one ounce anymore, she would still try. But she has no feelings left for me and when she last stayed with me she felt suffocated and felt like dying. If she has to live with me one single day she would die. She said that she had doubt about `us' before marriage but thought the marriage would fix everything. I became so angry that I said let's divorce. That was another mistake. I even said that the marriage was all her idea. She laughed sadly and said well let's divorce then. Her father tried to calm me down but I was furious.
After a day, I realized what has happened completely. I was desperate to work things out. I called her in her office. Her tone has changed completely now. She had her business-like voice and was quite stern. I tried to apologize and said it was all my fault. But she said that the train has left the station and is over. She didn't allow me say anything. She said that at least for the old times sake, I should let her go and not keep it hanging. She then disconnected abruptly. I called her parents, and my parents and told everyone that I made this happen. I asked her and everyone for one more chance. But she thinks that she cannot love me ever again. I have sent her a few gifts and wrote a heartfelt letter saying that I was wrong all these years and now I understand what true love is. I also said that I would never force her do anything she doesn't like to ( I tried to tell her do a few things my mother wanted, nothing major; but she took offense and said that I have changed after marriage for the worse). All I want is a chance to talk face to face instead of breaking off a seven year old relationship over the phone. She said how fast can I come and as soon as I am there we need to file for divorce after seven days. She is not willing to listen anything else I try to say. She said that I shouldn't let her hanging and and this is the one last thing she needs from me (I helped her a lot during our college days. I made her notes, coached her, helped her take exams, apply to schools, and sent her application packets. I even took a one year break so that she didn't have to do those things on her own. She was always that kind of a person who depended on others to take responsibilities. Although after getting the job, she got promoted quickly and is also earning a lot of money). She told me that I deserve a girl lot better than her, but she also deserves a boy lot better than me, and I didn't give her anything, not even emotional support (she had two major surgeries when we were dating and I was by her side both the times. I used to visit her house everyday for couple of months to comfort her and provide her support; I also was by her side whenever she needed any help in her study or life). She has said multiple times that she doesn't care for me anymore and cannot waste her whole life thinking of my career.
My wife called me (after how long I forgot, I would always call her during the last six seven months) one last time and asked what I have decided. I told her that I will be there as soon as possible. She said that once I reach my home, we will go to the marriage court after seven days time and if we want to contest the decision will go against me and my family. I apologized and said again that it was my fault. She said that she is under tremendous pressure and doesn't want to be in this `prison' anymore. She wants freedom from me and this wouldn't be a divorce but a break up. She said that she wanted to break up when we first went to study abroad, or when we went back home after the degree. But didn't do it thinking of me and what would happen to me. She said that she was doing me a favor but she is done. She now needs to rebuild her life. She said that she thought at least I would understand. I again said that I would do whatever she wants but at least let me speak to herself. She said again that she would try to make me understand, and I could try to, but it is too late and nothing can be done. Her decision is FINAL and she cannot sacrifice her whole life for a person she doesn't love anymore. She also said that she is very depressed and it will probably take her a year or two to recover. But it is better to be over now than to end t when we are forty and she feels it was inevitable. After this happened, I checked the call log for the temporary phone I gave her when she came here and found that she called one number everyday multiple times and talked for thirty minutes or more. The calls were made when I was not in home and once during four o'clock in the morning. Some calls were also made when it was two or three clock at night in home country. This number is not any from her family members and I asked her parents and they don't recognize the number either. I don't know what to make of this and I don't care. We all make mistakes and if I have learned anything during this trying time, it is not about the nature of the mistake. I have truly learned to forgive and forget and only wish that she takes me back.
Right now she is not talking to anyone. She just goes to office, comes back home, and locks her inside the room at her parents' house. I will be there very shortly. I have been going to counseling now. I understand that I have had a lot of issues from childhood and I behaved like a completely insane and insensitive person over these years. I am amazed how my wife put up with all these things and how great a person she is. She is the love of my life. I didn't realize that I was killing our relationship on my own with my controlling nature. But I am trying to change myself. And I AM changing. I now see or try to see everything from other person's perspective. I have promised God that I will never hurt another human ever again and will never say another hurtful thing ever in my life. I wish I could really express what a profound change I have gone through over the past three weeks. I have got my faith back, lost 20lbs, and become a completely new me. I hope not everything is lost yest and my wife wife will see the transformation and realize I am on my way of becoming the man she had waited for all her life.
We are each other's first love and now it seems like a fairytale that we got married. I lost my footing and invited the disasters. I should not have taken her for granted and never said mean things to her. She is my princess and I should have treated her like one. However, during this emotionally draining time, I have learned to let things go, forgive and forget, and slayed my inner demons. All I need is one more chance to make her fall in love with me once again. We can begin on a clean slate, and renew our vows, have a second honeymoon, and live happily ever after like we always dreamed. Every relationship has a learning curve and I have learned my lessons. I am never going to make the same mistakes again and will always keep her happy. I am praying to God to give me one more chance ( I know I blew all the past ones, but not any more). I have been reading a lot of self help and religious books and now understand the true meaning of selfless love and sacrifice. I will try to make her see the new me and make her understand that if she breaks our relationship off now she will waste the past seven years of sacrifice and has to start all over again. I am not going to drag my feet over though if she persists and wish the best for her. But I now know that I will never hurt her again and give her all the love and respect she deserves.
My questions to all you patient people are:
(1) Is there any hope for us?
(2) What do I do in the meantime? I will see her after a month.
(3) What should I tell her when we meet?
(4) What other help should I get?
I appreciate all the answers and scoldings. I truly deserve them and I wish I could be more repentant for my past sins.
I have known my wife for 7 years. We met in college and fell in love. I am from a country where some families are pretty conservative and having a GF/BF before marriage sometimes attracts opposition from family members. Nevertheless, we continued the relationship and it really turned into a beautiful thing.
I used to be a very optimistic kind of person, always willing to help others. Although, I was also very prone to anger. My parents didn't have a cordial relationship. My brother and I grew up in a dysfunctional and chaotic household. In fact, I cannot even remember a single day that went without any bickering. My father suspected my mother of cheating, my mother accused my father of being a heartless monster. I felt like they both had issues and instead of working it through they are just blaming each other. How little I knew that I was also going to do the same thing!
After college, my GF and I went to another country for further studies. We have met each other everyday for more than 2 years by that time. MY GF was a very worrying kind of person, and used to nag a lot. Nevertheless, I loved her (and still do) with all my heart. As soon as we reached the foreign land, my GF started feeling lonely. We could not talk a lot on phone either because of monetary issues. In the meantime, my GF developed a crush over a boy at her university. She told me that. She also told me that she let that person know of her feelings on his birthday. She said that she didn't do anything else and I should respect her for the honesty. She also blamed me for ignoring her. I became extremely mad though and broke off with her. I became suicidal and started quarreling with her all the time. She became depressed. Both if us started having problems with our studies and life became a living hell. She told me that if I leave her she will stay single her whole life and never be with anyone else. My heart melt and we started to resolve our issues. We started visiting each other as often as we could and the relationship was saved (or so I thought). She would still spend a lot of time with another boy who would take her for long drive. I let her enjoy and tried to be as civil as possible. Although when we had a fight I would sometimes nag her about it. But I trusted her and whatever I said was due to my own insecurity and not because of her.
The one thing I realize now is that I never truly forgave her for developing the crush. I felt like if I can stay true to her and even move away from temptations (I had one classmate head over heels for me), then why couldn't she? I failed to realize that everyone is unique and we all need to forgive and forget. After that incident whenever we had an argument I would bring back the past and blame her. I would always demand to know where she was and with whom and if she wouldn't tell me, I would get mad. And then she would get mad for trying to control her. I never asked her not to go anywhere though, I just wanted to make sure that she was safe. I didn't realize what a freak I became.
After completing studies, I didn't want to live in the foreign land so we both left. However, she kept blaming me for leaving the foreign place. She became very depressed, cried every night, and threatened of breaking off our relationship. We also had troubles getting jobs initially. However I landed a job after sometime. However, I held myself responsible for her misery and so I decided to leave my home country again for some more studies in the foreign land. I thought this way she could return to place where she wanted to live. However, she got a good job in our home country and decided to stay back. After spending one year apart from each other, we finally got married after knowing each other for five years. My family wanted to wait one more year but my GF threatened that she would marry somewhere else if we don't get married soon.
As I said, we hail from conservative background, and we never had sex before marriage. Although we did other things, we never went all the way. It was her decision and I respected it. I never forced myself on her even though we lived together for quite some time. On the night of marriage she developed cold feet and said it hurt too much and we should try it later. However, on our honeymoon she was on her period and even after I asked her to take some medicine to defer it, she didn't. The honeymoon was a disaster. We fought (it was mainly my fault) and she later told me that she didn't enjoy the honeymoon. I was so angry that she didn't defer her period that I failed to realize that it was a lot more than sex.
After marriage, I went back to the foreign land. We spent about a fortnight together after marriage. And she always put off sex. We decided to meet after six months. She would have come to visit me. However, she started having problems with my mother and both sides said nasty things to each other. My wife left our house and started living with her parents again. She became very depressed and cried every night. My mother didn't bother to bring her back even after my father specifically asked her to. She felt like I didn't stand up to my mother for her. I felt like if I fight a lot with my mother, she might blame my wife for that and the relationship will get spoiled further. My mother fought with us even the day before I left my home country. My wife cried all night after I left. My wife could not visit me in six months since she had too much work and I couldn't since I had no money. I made a crucial mistake, I should have swallowed the pride and ask her or my family for money, but I thought our relationship was too strong and took her for granted. She also said that it is better to save now since we will need it in the future when there are children. I deposited whatever I could save in her bank account too.
Things started getting worse. She would cry more often and would plead me to bring her with me. I agreed and asked her multiple times to leave the job and stay with me. Or join a program with me. But she would say that she would like to keep the job so that she could support me. Around this time, her nagging also seemed to get lowered. I didn't realize that it was the beginning of the end. What a fool I was. After marriage, for a couple of months I got so busy with studies that I couldn't devote much time to her. She once told me that if I cannot take her responsibility then I should let her go.
Also, around nine months after marriage, she stopped talking to me too much. Previously we used to talk a lot and video chat a lot. But she started spending time with her friends on weekends (3 men, 3 women including my wife). So even during weekends, she wouldn't talk to me much. I became angry and asked whether her friends were more important to her than I was. She said that since she had to live with her parents even after marriage and living the life of a bachelor, she needs something to free her mind after whole week's work. I tried to work it out, even pleaded with her to video chat with me at least once in a week, but she didn't. She even stopped talking to me on phone during the way or on the way of her office which she used to do all this time, not even during the lunch break. She started going to office with some coworker(s?) who lived close by and never let me know who they were. She even went out for outings with her group of friends and during one of those outings didn't talk to me for a whole day even after I called her about forty times (till 11:30 pm in the night). I called her parents and they told me that she called them. But she didn't pick up my calls. I became so angry that next time when she talked to me I accused her of cheating and said mean things. She said that the phone was in one room and she was in another. But why couldn't she at least call me back when she called her parents?
One year after marriage, we had time to meet again. I would have gone to meet her. However, I foolishly took some extra work and made her come to me. She never liked to travel alone and this completely broke her. She repeatedly told me that she was going to do it just for me and she is coming just for shopping. At that time I didn't read too much into it. When we met I was so happy. After we fell in love, I went to sleep every night thinking of her, and I woke up every morning thinking of her. I still do. She also seemed happy, but she later told me that she was irritated all the time and thought that I would feel it. Now when I look back, she seemed irritated sometimes and we also fought on some occasions. I even once said that I was doing everything I could. She later told me that even though I did everything she didn't `feel' anything. She said that she felt guilty about that and was feeling sorry for me. She didn't want to have sex either saying that we didn't see each other for a long time and she needs time. I gave her time. But she kept putting it off. After two or three weeks, she finally decided to have sex. But after we started doing it she lost interest and wanted me to stop. I became angry and asked her if there was someone else. I even said that I saw a woman with her likeness and face blurred on a porn site. She got really hurt. After that I have cursed myself a million times for being so insensitive to her needs and being a complete jerk and only wish I could take those things back.
She left for our home country after a couple of weeks as she had no holidays left. After that, our conversation got scarcer and scarcer. Sometimes she wouldn't even talk to me on her way home and would rather talk to other people in the office car. She also used to return home late like 11-12 in the night and left for office around 8 in the morning. I still didn't think too much into it and knew that she had a hectic job.
So we got married last summer. And our fighting got really serious for the last couple of months. At he end of October, during one of our fights I became so angry that she is not talking to me enough, that I asked if she has no emotional attachment to me anymore. To this she said yes, she doesn't love me anymore. Before that question was asked she started crying and was telling me that she is emotionally vulnerable right now. Still I went ahead like a headless bull and asked her the question. She said that she had already told her parents and her parents are trying to persuade her to think of everything calmly. She told me that she had given it a lot of thoughts and our last meeting was her last try to see if things would work out. She also said that if she loved me even one ounce anymore, she would still try. But she has no feelings left for me and when she last stayed with me she felt suffocated and felt like dying. If she has to live with me one single day she would die. She said that she had doubt about `us' before marriage but thought the marriage would fix everything. I became so angry that I said let's divorce. That was another mistake. I even said that the marriage was all her idea. She laughed sadly and said well let's divorce then. Her father tried to calm me down but I was furious.
After a day, I realized what has happened completely. I was desperate to work things out. I called her in her office. Her tone has changed completely now. She had her business-like voice and was quite stern. I tried to apologize and said it was all my fault. But she said that the train has left the station and is over. She didn't allow me say anything. She said that at least for the old times sake, I should let her go and not keep it hanging. She then disconnected abruptly. I called her parents, and my parents and told everyone that I made this happen. I asked her and everyone for one more chance. But she thinks that she cannot love me ever again. I have sent her a few gifts and wrote a heartfelt letter saying that I was wrong all these years and now I understand what true love is. I also said that I would never force her do anything she doesn't like to ( I tried to tell her do a few things my mother wanted, nothing major; but she took offense and said that I have changed after marriage for the worse). All I want is a chance to talk face to face instead of breaking off a seven year old relationship over the phone. She said how fast can I come and as soon as I am there we need to file for divorce after seven days. She is not willing to listen anything else I try to say. She said that I shouldn't let her hanging and and this is the one last thing she needs from me (I helped her a lot during our college days. I made her notes, coached her, helped her take exams, apply to schools, and sent her application packets. I even took a one year break so that she didn't have to do those things on her own. She was always that kind of a person who depended on others to take responsibilities. Although after getting the job, she got promoted quickly and is also earning a lot of money). She told me that I deserve a girl lot better than her, but she also deserves a boy lot better than me, and I didn't give her anything, not even emotional support (she had two major surgeries when we were dating and I was by her side both the times. I used to visit her house everyday for couple of months to comfort her and provide her support; I also was by her side whenever she needed any help in her study or life). She has said multiple times that she doesn't care for me anymore and cannot waste her whole life thinking of my career.
My wife called me (after how long I forgot, I would always call her during the last six seven months) one last time and asked what I have decided. I told her that I will be there as soon as possible. She said that once I reach my home, we will go to the marriage court after seven days time and if we want to contest the decision will go against me and my family. I apologized and said again that it was my fault. She said that she is under tremendous pressure and doesn't want to be in this `prison' anymore. She wants freedom from me and this wouldn't be a divorce but a break up. She said that she wanted to break up when we first went to study abroad, or when we went back home after the degree. But didn't do it thinking of me and what would happen to me. She said that she was doing me a favor but she is done. She now needs to rebuild her life. She said that she thought at least I would understand. I again said that I would do whatever she wants but at least let me speak to herself. She said again that she would try to make me understand, and I could try to, but it is too late and nothing can be done. Her decision is FINAL and she cannot sacrifice her whole life for a person she doesn't love anymore. She also said that she is very depressed and it will probably take her a year or two to recover. But it is better to be over now than to end t when we are forty and she feels it was inevitable. After this happened, I checked the call log for the temporary phone I gave her when she came here and found that she called one number everyday multiple times and talked for thirty minutes or more. The calls were made when I was not in home and once during four o'clock in the morning. Some calls were also made when it was two or three clock at night in home country. This number is not any from her family members and I asked her parents and they don't recognize the number either. I don't know what to make of this and I don't care. We all make mistakes and if I have learned anything during this trying time, it is not about the nature of the mistake. I have truly learned to forgive and forget and only wish that she takes me back.
Right now she is not talking to anyone. She just goes to office, comes back home, and locks her inside the room at her parents' house. I will be there very shortly. I have been going to counseling now. I understand that I have had a lot of issues from childhood and I behaved like a completely insane and insensitive person over these years. I am amazed how my wife put up with all these things and how great a person she is. She is the love of my life. I didn't realize that I was killing our relationship on my own with my controlling nature. But I am trying to change myself. And I AM changing. I now see or try to see everything from other person's perspective. I have promised God that I will never hurt another human ever again and will never say another hurtful thing ever in my life. I wish I could really express what a profound change I have gone through over the past three weeks. I have got my faith back, lost 20lbs, and become a completely new me. I hope not everything is lost yest and my wife wife will see the transformation and realize I am on my way of becoming the man she had waited for all her life.
We are each other's first love and now it seems like a fairytale that we got married. I lost my footing and invited the disasters. I should not have taken her for granted and never said mean things to her. She is my princess and I should have treated her like one. However, during this emotionally draining time, I have learned to let things go, forgive and forget, and slayed my inner demons. All I need is one more chance to make her fall in love with me once again. We can begin on a clean slate, and renew our vows, have a second honeymoon, and live happily ever after like we always dreamed. Every relationship has a learning curve and I have learned my lessons. I am never going to make the same mistakes again and will always keep her happy. I am praying to God to give me one more chance ( I know I blew all the past ones, but not any more). I have been reading a lot of self help and religious books and now understand the true meaning of selfless love and sacrifice. I will try to make her see the new me and make her understand that if she breaks our relationship off now she will waste the past seven years of sacrifice and has to start all over again. I am not going to drag my feet over though if she persists and wish the best for her. But I now know that I will never hurt her again and give her all the love and respect she deserves.
My questions to all you patient people are:
(1) Is there any hope for us?
(2) What do I do in the meantime? I will see her after a month.
(3) What should I tell her when we meet?
(4) What other help should I get?
I appreciate all the answers and scoldings. I truly deserve them and I wish I could be more repentant for my past sins.
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