Hi,
I apologize in advance if the post seems "inconsistent", I have A LOT to get off my chest and I am trying to summarize it.
I have been married for almost 5 years with my wife, and really for the first 3 1/2 years I have been manipulated, controlled, belittled, you name it. I feels that I cannot give enough to this woman, I keep thinking that pleasing her will make her happy, care about me and my feelings, but it just doesn't happen. When I say for the first 3 1/2 years, I say it because at one point I snapped and I seriously considered divorce, it did not happen but ever since then she toned down her behavior a bit.
I find myself constantly on edge, she will react differently to the same situation in different times, and always will blame me out of frustration, doesn't matter if something that happened was my fault or not.
The marriage is COMPLETELY unfair, even recognized by her, she gets to go out, drink and party, come home late (one time came home the next afternoon), but I can't even go to the freaking gym without her throwing a fit because she doesn't want to watch the kids. She gets to sleep in all the time while I get up with the kids, I couldn't ever. Whenever I bring it up it is just stonewalled, and out of mocking me she will say I am right, what I'm i going to do about it, Im screwed.
I do all of the laundry of the house by myself, I try to keep everything nice and neat, but God forbid I ask her to do something, she will say that she feels offended that I am telling or asking her to do something, but she has NO PROBLEM on asking me to do anything, this is crazy.
She is not a forgiving person either, if I get frustrated and I yell, raise my voice, anything like that, she will get mad, shut down, say I am being disrespectful and will not forgive me even if I recognize it and apologize.
We are always having arguments, basically because she will get pissed at little things (that according to her are important), and while I always try to give her the benefit of the doubt, it seems that EVERYTHING is important, so she feels justified when she is mean. When we are talking about something, she will make HUGE assumptions, and get mad at me because of her assumptions, without even giving little doubt to herself.
We have 2 kids (4 year old, 8 months), and most of the marriage I stayed trying for my first kid, I went to a therapist, the therapist told me I need to look out for my own mental health (after I started crying in her office).
There is a lot more, but that is the core of it, my wife is just extremely naturally selfish, and I am tired of coming up with patience and understanding to deal with her...
Can anyone offer me some advice, I have read a lot about emotional abuse, but even though the thought of terminating the marriage is on my mind, it is just not that simple...
I apologize in advance if the post seems "inconsistent", I have A LOT to get off my chest and I am trying to summarize it.
I have been married for almost 5 years with my wife, and really for the first 3 1/2 years I have been manipulated, controlled, belittled, you name it. I feels that I cannot give enough to this woman, I keep thinking that pleasing her will make her happy, care about me and my feelings, but it just doesn't happen. When I say for the first 3 1/2 years, I say it because at one point I snapped and I seriously considered divorce, it did not happen but ever since then she toned down her behavior a bit.
I find myself constantly on edge, she will react differently to the same situation in different times, and always will blame me out of frustration, doesn't matter if something that happened was my fault or not.
The marriage is COMPLETELY unfair, even recognized by her, she gets to go out, drink and party, come home late (one time came home the next afternoon), but I can't even go to the freaking gym without her throwing a fit because she doesn't want to watch the kids. She gets to sleep in all the time while I get up with the kids, I couldn't ever. Whenever I bring it up it is just stonewalled, and out of mocking me she will say I am right, what I'm i going to do about it, Im screwed.
I do all of the laundry of the house by myself, I try to keep everything nice and neat, but God forbid I ask her to do something, she will say that she feels offended that I am telling or asking her to do something, but she has NO PROBLEM on asking me to do anything, this is crazy.
She is not a forgiving person either, if I get frustrated and I yell, raise my voice, anything like that, she will get mad, shut down, say I am being disrespectful and will not forgive me even if I recognize it and apologize.
We are always having arguments, basically because she will get pissed at little things (that according to her are important), and while I always try to give her the benefit of the doubt, it seems that EVERYTHING is important, so she feels justified when she is mean. When we are talking about something, she will make HUGE assumptions, and get mad at me because of her assumptions, without even giving little doubt to herself.
We have 2 kids (4 year old, 8 months), and most of the marriage I stayed trying for my first kid, I went to a therapist, the therapist told me I need to look out for my own mental health (after I started crying in her office).
There is a lot more, but that is the core of it, my wife is just extremely naturally selfish, and I am tired of coming up with patience and understanding to deal with her...
Can anyone offer me some advice, I have read a lot about emotional abuse, but even though the thought of terminating the marriage is on my mind, it is just not that simple...
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