I need advice--I am tied in knots over this situation.
Background. We have been married for 14 years. We have 3 children ages 11, 7, and 2. We have had our ups and downs. A few times he has said that he wants a divorce--that things aren't good between us. Usually I reassure him that I love him, and I need him, and he will be OK. We don't have that many big fights. Sometimes jobs, kids, exhaustion wear on the relationship, which I think is normal. I do not ever feel fully secure that he won't leave when we fight.
Friday night we were having a discussion with our neighbors. He had had some beers. The discussion was over differences between boys and girls (nothing serious). He was making some kind of sexist and rude comments..the other husband even commented that "He may not want to go to sleep."--jokingly letting him know that he was going to be in the doghouse. The discussion continued, and he went on, and I kind of told him off. I didn't get personal or insulting, but made it clear that he was out of line. He went to bed soon after, and when I went to bed, he told me not to touch him. He has not really spoken to me in the last two days, and continues to tell him not to touch him. The worst part, and this is silly, was he removed me from his facebook--to me this is symbolic that he was cutting me out. My son has noted to him that he doesn't seem happy, but I don't think he realizes what is going on exactly. He has said a few words to me regarding fixing the toilet, but he will not engage with me. He is still sleeping in our bed, and hasn't said anything about leaving, but I am still VERY WORRIED.
I was angry, and still think I was right to stand up for myself, but really don't think it was worth all this. I think it is more about the fact that it was in front of the neighbors, and that I made him feels sorry. I told him that I was sorry I upset him, and that I love him. I begged him to talk to me the first morning, but not after. I have tried to continue to act normally. I have cleaned the house, made breakfast, did laundry.
I know that there isn't anything else I can really do. If this is an argument that will pass, I can wait, I am just scared that he is cutting me out because he is done. He has never not talked to me for this long...any silent treatment in the past between us has only lasted a few hours.
Background. We have been married for 14 years. We have 3 children ages 11, 7, and 2. We have had our ups and downs. A few times he has said that he wants a divorce--that things aren't good between us. Usually I reassure him that I love him, and I need him, and he will be OK. We don't have that many big fights. Sometimes jobs, kids, exhaustion wear on the relationship, which I think is normal. I do not ever feel fully secure that he won't leave when we fight.
Friday night we were having a discussion with our neighbors. He had had some beers. The discussion was over differences between boys and girls (nothing serious). He was making some kind of sexist and rude comments..the other husband even commented that "He may not want to go to sleep."--jokingly letting him know that he was going to be in the doghouse. The discussion continued, and he went on, and I kind of told him off. I didn't get personal or insulting, but made it clear that he was out of line. He went to bed soon after, and when I went to bed, he told me not to touch him. He has not really spoken to me in the last two days, and continues to tell him not to touch him. The worst part, and this is silly, was he removed me from his facebook--to me this is symbolic that he was cutting me out. My son has noted to him that he doesn't seem happy, but I don't think he realizes what is going on exactly. He has said a few words to me regarding fixing the toilet, but he will not engage with me. He is still sleeping in our bed, and hasn't said anything about leaving, but I am still VERY WORRIED.
I was angry, and still think I was right to stand up for myself, but really don't think it was worth all this. I think it is more about the fact that it was in front of the neighbors, and that I made him feels sorry. I told him that I was sorry I upset him, and that I love him. I begged him to talk to me the first morning, but not after. I have tried to continue to act normally. I have cleaned the house, made breakfast, did laundry.
I know that there isn't anything else I can really do. If this is an argument that will pass, I can wait, I am just scared that he is cutting me out because he is done. He has never not talked to me for this long...any silent treatment in the past between us has only lasted a few hours.
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