Not sure why I feel compelled to link to HuffPost, I find that the journalistic integrity they had not that long ago is completely shot. But I saw this article and NEEDED to comment on it, so here it is:
12 Acts Of Betrayal That Are Worse Than Cheating
My take is that numbers 1, 4, 5 and 12 are all basically the same thing, and I would rather find those kind of things out sooner rather than later. Number 2 is an EA, and yes that is at least as harmful as a PA - number 6 can also fall into this definition. Numbers 3 and 11 are financial infidelity. Numbers 7 and 10 are plain old deception, and yes that is the worst part about infidelity. And numbers 6, 8 and 9 are simply contributing factors about poor boundaries and mistreatment.
So I personally think this list can be reduced to 5 items 1) incompatibilities 2) the emotional aspect of infidelity 3) financial infidelity 4) deception and 5) boundaries
Apart from the financial and emotional infidelity, I don't find any of those to really be "act of betrayal" they are all relationship issues that should be addressed as the trust is built. The rest of the items are almost always aspects that are included with an affair, so as standalone acts how can any particular one be worse than the sum of all of them?
The only item I see on the list that could be worse, as in having longer lasting and more tangible damage, is financial infidelity. Or am I missing something?
12 Acts Of Betrayal That Are Worse Than Cheating
Quote:
| 1. "Giving up on the relationship for no reason. I'd rather he cheat than hear him say, 'Meh, I don't love you anymore.'" 2. "Confiding in another man before she came to me would hurt me more than cheating. (The exception would be her father.)" 3. "Ripping me off financially. Cheating (depending on context) just says, 'I wanted to get off and hoped I could get away with it.' Ripping me off says, 'I am willing to compromise your long-term well-being to better my own.'" 4. "Hiding a drug addiction or something else along those lines would be far worse than discovering an affair." 5. "Her telling me she doesn't want me as the father of her future children." 6. "Finding out she shared a particularly painful or vital secret of mine with someone, without my consent." 7. "Lying. Honest to God, if you get drunk and have sex with someone else, I'll be fine with it. It happens. I'd prefer it didn't, but it happens. You tell me about it? Cool. We'll figure it out. You lie about it? We're done. People dramatically underestimate the importance of brutal honesty in relationships." 8. "Using my children against me. I would not know how to handle that." 9. "Talking about me behind my back to my parents." 10. "Constantly lying. It's one thing to lie once, but if she goes years holding onto lies, then I find out all at once, it would hurt more than finding out she had an affair." 11. "Giving money to her family behind my back to help them out. I am the sole provider in our house and her family is not the hardest working people I know." 12. "Telling me that he doesn't like me as a person." |
So I personally think this list can be reduced to 5 items 1) incompatibilities 2) the emotional aspect of infidelity 3) financial infidelity 4) deception and 5) boundaries
Apart from the financial and emotional infidelity, I don't find any of those to really be "act of betrayal" they are all relationship issues that should be addressed as the trust is built. The rest of the items are almost always aspects that are included with an affair, so as standalone acts how can any particular one be worse than the sum of all of them?
The only item I see on the list that could be worse, as in having longer lasting and more tangible damage, is financial infidelity. Or am I missing something?
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