Hello everyone, so I'm hoping to get some input into my situation. I pretty much know what most of you will say, but I'm hoping there's something new I can take out of this..
Here's my situation..I've been with my fiance for 5 years now. I've never been in a serious relationship before her. I should mention I'm 28, and she's 27. I was also a fling type of person, while she was the opposite. I know when I met her 5 years ago, I was definitely infatuated and ready for a relationship. We've had some ups and downs, but remained a great couple. Well, about a year ago I met this girl, and when I met her I felt a sudden connection. A strong one..if not stronger than I had when I first met my fiance. However, it was okay because this woman was married, and with 2 children. I didn't know her too well anyway, but I still felt very drawn to her.
Fast forward the last 3 months..I find myself getting closer to this woman. I also find out that she's getting a divorce. So now..this changes everything. I feel completely different talking to her, and meanwhile I'm feeling more detached from my fiance. So I open up to this woman, and share with her that I'm not sure if I should be getting married. I tell her I'm questioning it, and I don't know if it's because it's such a huge part of my life or what. I notice that her and I get closer as time draws on. She ends up getting drunk at a wedding and calls me. I actually end up calling her drunk on my bachelor party. Meanwhile, I feel like a complete zombie towards everything, and everyone else. My last 2 months has consisted of working, the gym, and walking..then going home and going to sleep. I feel as if I've been on cruise control.
So this past Saturday I go this girls house for a fire. I should also mention that my fiance knows this woman. And I was going to the fire because other people were going to be there. My fiance was busy, and honestly, I've kind of kept them apart from interacting. Well as the night wears on, it's just the girl, her friend, and me having wine and sitting on the patio. The girl I'm into goes inside and her friend tells me basically...that I need to figure out my ****..and not to hurt her friend. She also says that her friend is worth it..and that we are both a great catch...which is also the first time that I've "officially" been told she's actually into me. So as the night goes on, it's just me and the girl. She's drinking all kinds of wine, while I remain sober. She asks me what am I gonna do with everything...and I explain how it's such a hard decision. She looks so sad, and I feel terrible. So eventually I help her inside..she keeps leaning on me and hugging me. I want not hing but to kiss her, but I know how wrong it would be. Eventually I get her to the couch, and tell her goodnight, and she kisses me..and yes..I kissed her back. Was very brief, but still..
So here I am a few days later, and it's all I keep thinking about...and my wedding is less than a month away. I don't know what the hell to do. What makes everything more complicated is the apartment I'm getting with my fiance..all the money..the families...everything.
So that all being said..my thoughts on this..and what I would like to really do..
I'd like to talk to this new girl, and tell her how I feel. That yes, I'm into her..but I also love my fiance. I'd like to tell her that the fact that she's telling me she has feelings for me now..is messed up, and that I'd like to remain friends with her, and give my marriage a try, because I really do..and maybe these feelings are just a phase. I guess my plan is to give this a year, and by then..hope this all works itself out.
I guess the one thing I won't budge on is bringing this up to my fiance. I know I'm a jerk for that, but she is so into this wedding, that I can't possibly ruin it for her now. I'm really hoping that this all blows over, and everything is back to normal.
I'd appreciate anyones thoughts, or comments.
Here's my situation..I've been with my fiance for 5 years now. I've never been in a serious relationship before her. I should mention I'm 28, and she's 27. I was also a fling type of person, while she was the opposite. I know when I met her 5 years ago, I was definitely infatuated and ready for a relationship. We've had some ups and downs, but remained a great couple. Well, about a year ago I met this girl, and when I met her I felt a sudden connection. A strong one..if not stronger than I had when I first met my fiance. However, it was okay because this woman was married, and with 2 children. I didn't know her too well anyway, but I still felt very drawn to her.
Fast forward the last 3 months..I find myself getting closer to this woman. I also find out that she's getting a divorce. So now..this changes everything. I feel completely different talking to her, and meanwhile I'm feeling more detached from my fiance. So I open up to this woman, and share with her that I'm not sure if I should be getting married. I tell her I'm questioning it, and I don't know if it's because it's such a huge part of my life or what. I notice that her and I get closer as time draws on. She ends up getting drunk at a wedding and calls me. I actually end up calling her drunk on my bachelor party. Meanwhile, I feel like a complete zombie towards everything, and everyone else. My last 2 months has consisted of working, the gym, and walking..then going home and going to sleep. I feel as if I've been on cruise control.
So this past Saturday I go this girls house for a fire. I should also mention that my fiance knows this woman. And I was going to the fire because other people were going to be there. My fiance was busy, and honestly, I've kind of kept them apart from interacting. Well as the night wears on, it's just the girl, her friend, and me having wine and sitting on the patio. The girl I'm into goes inside and her friend tells me basically...that I need to figure out my ****..and not to hurt her friend. She also says that her friend is worth it..and that we are both a great catch...which is also the first time that I've "officially" been told she's actually into me. So as the night goes on, it's just me and the girl. She's drinking all kinds of wine, while I remain sober. She asks me what am I gonna do with everything...and I explain how it's such a hard decision. She looks so sad, and I feel terrible. So eventually I help her inside..she keeps leaning on me and hugging me. I want not hing but to kiss her, but I know how wrong it would be. Eventually I get her to the couch, and tell her goodnight, and she kisses me..and yes..I kissed her back. Was very brief, but still..
So here I am a few days later, and it's all I keep thinking about...and my wedding is less than a month away. I don't know what the hell to do. What makes everything more complicated is the apartment I'm getting with my fiance..all the money..the families...everything.
So that all being said..my thoughts on this..and what I would like to really do..
I'd like to talk to this new girl, and tell her how I feel. That yes, I'm into her..but I also love my fiance. I'd like to tell her that the fact that she's telling me she has feelings for me now..is messed up, and that I'd like to remain friends with her, and give my marriage a try, because I really do..and maybe these feelings are just a phase. I guess my plan is to give this a year, and by then..hope this all works itself out.
I guess the one thing I won't budge on is bringing this up to my fiance. I know I'm a jerk for that, but she is so into this wedding, that I can't possibly ruin it for her now. I'm really hoping that this all blows over, and everything is back to normal.
I'd appreciate anyones thoughts, or comments.
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