Ok... I've been married for about 10 months now so I know that I'm new to the game.
my wife gets mad sometimes (I understand that's only natural... sometimes it's my fault). Anyways, I'm quick to apologize for anything wrong that I've done or if I've been inconsiderate. I try to see things from her perspective.
But when she's mad... there's all kinds of language being spilled out of her mouth. We are both christian... I never swear, but she just lets it fly when she's upset.
Doors get slammed... I hate yous... etc.
When she's mad I try and tell her to take a deep breath and a few minutes, lets talk about it, I want to understand where she's coming from.
I say something like, I know we're both frustrated, but I love you we should be able to talk about this. It's the christian thing to do. We need to forgive each other.
She usually says something like... Get away from me, I don't want to be near you. And I leave her alone for several hours or until the next day... then she slowly seems normal again.
The only part that really really burns me is that she never says she's sorry, even days later. Never apologizes for the yelling or her language. Ok, never is strong... I'd say maybe 1 or 2 times she has apologized for 1 of the many things she said while upset.
Here's the thing that gets me is I don't want her to think it's ok to treat me like that. I've tried telling her that days later when she's calm, yet it continues. I don't want to yell at her or assert that I can be a big scary tough guy. I just want her to understand that it's not ok to act like that, but if you get mad and do act like that, then you should apologize and try not to let it happen again.
Am I being unfair or unrealistic?
How should I get my point across?
I've been thinking about giving her the silent treatment afterwards, but that just seems so juvenile to me.
I'm really open to suggestions
Thanks everyone, and I really like reading this forum!
my wife gets mad sometimes (I understand that's only natural... sometimes it's my fault). Anyways, I'm quick to apologize for anything wrong that I've done or if I've been inconsiderate. I try to see things from her perspective.
But when she's mad... there's all kinds of language being spilled out of her mouth. We are both christian... I never swear, but she just lets it fly when she's upset.
Doors get slammed... I hate yous... etc.
When she's mad I try and tell her to take a deep breath and a few minutes, lets talk about it, I want to understand where she's coming from.
I say something like, I know we're both frustrated, but I love you we should be able to talk about this. It's the christian thing to do. We need to forgive each other.
She usually says something like... Get away from me, I don't want to be near you. And I leave her alone for several hours or until the next day... then she slowly seems normal again.
The only part that really really burns me is that she never says she's sorry, even days later. Never apologizes for the yelling or her language. Ok, never is strong... I'd say maybe 1 or 2 times she has apologized for 1 of the many things she said while upset.
Here's the thing that gets me is I don't want her to think it's ok to treat me like that. I've tried telling her that days later when she's calm, yet it continues. I don't want to yell at her or assert that I can be a big scary tough guy. I just want her to understand that it's not ok to act like that, but if you get mad and do act like that, then you should apologize and try not to let it happen again.
Am I being unfair or unrealistic?
How should I get my point across?
I've been thinking about giving her the silent treatment afterwards, but that just seems so juvenile to me.
I'm really open to suggestions
Thanks everyone, and I really like reading this forum!
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment