Hi. This is my first post. I usually dont reach out to strangers this way, but I feel this is the only way to get impartial advise that friends and family never can give.
My wife and I have been married for 8 years. We moved overseas almost immediately after the wedding as I was offered a brilliant, once in a lifetime job opportunity. Although I knew she would be leaving her family behind, I hoped that she would enjoy and embrace the experience and we would be happy and successful. She has hated living here since we moved. We made friends but mostly these were just my colleagues and my wife did not feel part of the group, although nobody intended to exclude her.
Her feelings about the place meant that I couldn't put in the time and effort required to be successful at my place of work, which requires a lot of dedication.
She has let me know that I brought her to this place and she wishes she could go back and undo the past 8 years and have her youth back. There is a 10 year age gap between us and I know I have a more future-focussed outlook on life.
I feel incredibly guilty for taking this young, happy, attractive woman and robbing her of the experiences that most women get in their 20's. Instead, we moved to Europe and ended up in the work-home-work rut because she was so reluctant to mix with people. As we don't have our own seperare friends, we do everything together then have nothing to talk about. When I did go out with my friends but without her, I was accused of flirting with my women friends purely because I didn't say anything much about them (there was nothing to say) so I don't go out anymore.
I know I am rambling. I know my wife is a negative person and there were signs of that before we got married. But there was also a lot of laughter and happiness which has now been replaced with frustration and passive aggressiveness. And I know it is this place, where I brought her to, which has done this and therefore my fault for being selfish all those years ago.
How can I make amends for what I have done so that she isn't unhappy for the rest of her life? She won't tell me what she wants and says that I will decide for her, regardless.
Any thoughts or suggestions are welcome. Thank you.
My wife and I have been married for 8 years. We moved overseas almost immediately after the wedding as I was offered a brilliant, once in a lifetime job opportunity. Although I knew she would be leaving her family behind, I hoped that she would enjoy and embrace the experience and we would be happy and successful. She has hated living here since we moved. We made friends but mostly these were just my colleagues and my wife did not feel part of the group, although nobody intended to exclude her.
Her feelings about the place meant that I couldn't put in the time and effort required to be successful at my place of work, which requires a lot of dedication.
She has let me know that I brought her to this place and she wishes she could go back and undo the past 8 years and have her youth back. There is a 10 year age gap between us and I know I have a more future-focussed outlook on life.
I feel incredibly guilty for taking this young, happy, attractive woman and robbing her of the experiences that most women get in their 20's. Instead, we moved to Europe and ended up in the work-home-work rut because she was so reluctant to mix with people. As we don't have our own seperare friends, we do everything together then have nothing to talk about. When I did go out with my friends but without her, I was accused of flirting with my women friends purely because I didn't say anything much about them (there was nothing to say) so I don't go out anymore.
I know I am rambling. I know my wife is a negative person and there were signs of that before we got married. But there was also a lot of laughter and happiness which has now been replaced with frustration and passive aggressiveness. And I know it is this place, where I brought her to, which has done this and therefore my fault for being selfish all those years ago.
How can I make amends for what I have done so that she isn't unhappy for the rest of her life? She won't tell me what she wants and says that I will decide for her, regardless.
Any thoughts or suggestions are welcome. Thank you.
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