Our 4th year anniversary is in 2 weeks.
In the past, he has asked his sister (who lives with his mother) to please watch our son for a couple of hours while we go out to dinner. His sister (who has 2 kids of her own) has always been more than happy to comply and has offered to him repeatedly that "any Saturday" we want, we can drop off our son.
He won't take her up on her offer, telling her "we don't need that"...
We have registered thru his work at care.com for "backup daycare" ($6/hr min 4 hours) for work...but we have the option of using the service, at full price for no minimum time.
He told me recently when HE THOUGHT I "inconvenienced" a co-worker and his wife (with whom I'm friends) and I asked her (my friend) to look at a lens stuck unde my "eye" (WHILE MY H WAS TRAVELNG) that I SHOULD CALL CARE.COM NEXT TIME AND HAVE A SITTER COME WHILE I GO TO THE ER (in my opinion, a big waste of $$, and he has NEVER wanted us to go 'out" with a sitter) none of his family has EVER hired a sitter (EVER)..I came from a family where my mom couldn't pawn me off fast enough to a sitter...
So...the last time he asked his sister for a date nite was my bday (October)...we have NOT gone a date since then. However, both my parents died and he asked his sister if she would watch our son while he attended funeral services with me....(she agreed). Also, one of his best friend's wife has amylodosis and needed chemo and we went in to see her at her hospital and she watched our son then.
I don't think he wants to ask for any more favors.
I brought up our anniversary and asked if we wanted to get a sitter through care.com....he said it would be a 4 hour min..I said, no that's just for back up care...it can be 1-2 hours, whatever.
He didn't reply.
THE NEXT NITE HE BROUGHT IT UP AND SUGGESTED A FAMILY DAY TO THE AQUARIUM AS A CELBRATION OF OUR ANNIVERSARY....I said, "what about a dinner?"
He said, "No".
He wouldn't ask his sister and WASN'T COMFORTABLE HIRING A SITTER!
when i questioned him about the fact that he wanted me to go hire someone when my eye was hurting me (he was on travel for work and would have helped me)....he said, "that's an emergency...our DATE NITE is NOT an emergency."
bottom line?
HE DOESN'T WANT A DATE NITE WITH ME FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY........WHEN WE'VE GONE OUT EACH YEAR....
I'm frustrated BEYOND BELIEF...HE KNOWS I'm MAD...I'M NOT TALKING TO HIM..except for our son...
but the issue is:
Do i tell him how disappointed/upset I am over this?
My therapist told me to tell him...
My friends say, tell him if he ASKS why you're sulking...
my other friend says: WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO DATE YOU????
THOUGHTS???
In the past, he has asked his sister (who lives with his mother) to please watch our son for a couple of hours while we go out to dinner. His sister (who has 2 kids of her own) has always been more than happy to comply and has offered to him repeatedly that "any Saturday" we want, we can drop off our son.
He won't take her up on her offer, telling her "we don't need that"...
We have registered thru his work at care.com for "backup daycare" ($6/hr min 4 hours) for work...but we have the option of using the service, at full price for no minimum time.
He told me recently when HE THOUGHT I "inconvenienced" a co-worker and his wife (with whom I'm friends) and I asked her (my friend) to look at a lens stuck unde my "eye" (WHILE MY H WAS TRAVELNG) that I SHOULD CALL CARE.COM NEXT TIME AND HAVE A SITTER COME WHILE I GO TO THE ER (in my opinion, a big waste of $$, and he has NEVER wanted us to go 'out" with a sitter) none of his family has EVER hired a sitter (EVER)..I came from a family where my mom couldn't pawn me off fast enough to a sitter...
So...the last time he asked his sister for a date nite was my bday (October)...we have NOT gone a date since then. However, both my parents died and he asked his sister if she would watch our son while he attended funeral services with me....(she agreed). Also, one of his best friend's wife has amylodosis and needed chemo and we went in to see her at her hospital and she watched our son then.
I don't think he wants to ask for any more favors.
I brought up our anniversary and asked if we wanted to get a sitter through care.com....he said it would be a 4 hour min..I said, no that's just for back up care...it can be 1-2 hours, whatever.
He didn't reply.
THE NEXT NITE HE BROUGHT IT UP AND SUGGESTED A FAMILY DAY TO THE AQUARIUM AS A CELBRATION OF OUR ANNIVERSARY....I said, "what about a dinner?"
He said, "No".
He wouldn't ask his sister and WASN'T COMFORTABLE HIRING A SITTER!
when i questioned him about the fact that he wanted me to go hire someone when my eye was hurting me (he was on travel for work and would have helped me)....he said, "that's an emergency...our DATE NITE is NOT an emergency."
bottom line?
HE DOESN'T WANT A DATE NITE WITH ME FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY........WHEN WE'VE GONE OUT EACH YEAR....
I'm frustrated BEYOND BELIEF...HE KNOWS I'm MAD...I'M NOT TALKING TO HIM..except for our son...
but the issue is:
Do i tell him how disappointed/upset I am over this?
My therapist told me to tell him...
My friends say, tell him if he ASKS why you're sulking...
my other friend says: WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO DATE YOU????
THOUGHTS???
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