Good day Good People of TAM.
I've initiated having "The Talk" more times that I care to remember. It always ends up in an argument. This got me thinking. What if I'm doing it wrong? What if my approach in trying to have yet another "Talk" is all wrong?
I've tried to have this talk with her so many times already and it always ends in an argument. Is my approach wrong? Maybe suggest another approach?
What generally happens is that I'd get tired of the status quo of our non existent sex life and will initiate the talk. It will start out with asking her what's wrong. Her response is to stare blankly at a wall or out a window or to ignore me or to sigh and then apply all of the above. I'll pursue the matter again and shed first start off by saying nothing is wrong. To which I'd respond with a, "no something is definitely wrong, since we haven't been intimate at all in X amounts of months". She then gets defensive and the argument would start.
In her mind, I don't treat her too well. I don't understand this explanation and she refuses to go into detail. She would just stare blankly at something and ignore my words.
I've initiated this talk late at night when we're in bed. She asked me to do it at a better time, not when the kids are home and sleeping. I then tried to have it in the morning, once they've left for school. Her response would be something along the lines of: "You want to do this NOW!!!???". To what I'd reply with, yeah, you said that late at night is no good, so let's have it out. She would have an excuse, like prior commitment or something. I've tried having it while we're alone in the car also. I'd get the same response along the lines of, "NOW!!!??? Really???. Is there nothing else you think of?".
Her responses or lack thereof usually leaves me irritated and left feeling wound up. I'm not sure how else or when to start this discussion.
I may have left loads of details out of my post so if you need more info, please ask.
Me: 33; HD; Not overweight; Physically healthy
Her: 35; Zero Drive; Not overweight; Physically healthy
Together: 13 years
Married: 8 years
Kids: 2
Please tell me where I'm going wrong or what I need to change. It angers me when HD spouses start looking for problems with themselves in these pages when we all know where the problems usually lies. But alas, here I am too.
Show me the error of my ways.
Posted via Mobile Device
I've initiated having "The Talk" more times that I care to remember. It always ends up in an argument. This got me thinking. What if I'm doing it wrong? What if my approach in trying to have yet another "Talk" is all wrong?
I've tried to have this talk with her so many times already and it always ends in an argument. Is my approach wrong? Maybe suggest another approach?
What generally happens is that I'd get tired of the status quo of our non existent sex life and will initiate the talk. It will start out with asking her what's wrong. Her response is to stare blankly at a wall or out a window or to ignore me or to sigh and then apply all of the above. I'll pursue the matter again and shed first start off by saying nothing is wrong. To which I'd respond with a, "no something is definitely wrong, since we haven't been intimate at all in X amounts of months". She then gets defensive and the argument would start.
In her mind, I don't treat her too well. I don't understand this explanation and she refuses to go into detail. She would just stare blankly at something and ignore my words.
I've initiated this talk late at night when we're in bed. She asked me to do it at a better time, not when the kids are home and sleeping. I then tried to have it in the morning, once they've left for school. Her response would be something along the lines of: "You want to do this NOW!!!???". To what I'd reply with, yeah, you said that late at night is no good, so let's have it out. She would have an excuse, like prior commitment or something. I've tried having it while we're alone in the car also. I'd get the same response along the lines of, "NOW!!!??? Really???. Is there nothing else you think of?".
Her responses or lack thereof usually leaves me irritated and left feeling wound up. I'm not sure how else or when to start this discussion.
I may have left loads of details out of my post so if you need more info, please ask.
Me: 33; HD; Not overweight; Physically healthy
Her: 35; Zero Drive; Not overweight; Physically healthy
Together: 13 years
Married: 8 years
Kids: 2
Please tell me where I'm going wrong or what I need to change. It angers me when HD spouses start looking for problems with themselves in these pages when we all know where the problems usually lies. But alas, here I am too.
Show me the error of my ways.
Posted via Mobile Device
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