I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and a half now and I can honestly say he is a wonderful guy. He is sweet, funny, genuinely kind, intelligent and always makes me feel better and tries to cheer me up when I am sad or having a tough day. However recently I am beginning to crush on a different guy who is just as sweet, more intelligent and physically more attractive...
I really care about my boyfriend and I know that he loves me and I love him too. I just don't know if we're on the same level of 'love' and if this is a problem or not. The other day I asked him how he knew that I was 'the one' for him and he told me that he couldn't see himself being with anyone other than myself. When I asked why he responded that it was because I had everything he was looking for. This made me feel really bad because I know that I couldn't honestly say the same. I talked to him about the "being on the same level" thing and told him that maybe we should wait it out to see if that goes away and if it doesn't than we should talk but I don't know how much time is reasonable to wait. A year? 6 months? More?
Some other problems are that I don't really feel physically attracted to him much in an intimate way anymore, I just see him as 'cute' or as a friend. We haven't had sex for at least 4 months because I do not want to increase his attachment in case I do choose it's best to part with him. And whenever I masturbate I think of the other guy and not him. I know that physical attraction is not everything in a relationship but I would think it's at least a bit important, am I right or wrong?
But I must mention that none of the relationships that I have had have ever been sexually gratifying. (I have never been able to climax.) Which may be another reason for my lack of desire to have sex.
I have also found my self unconsciously flirting with the other guy but try to keep it to a minimum whenever I realize what I'm doing. I don't know if it will ever lead to anything and I don't care much anymore but I do care about what my feelings for him imply on my current relationship.
Also his family likes me a lot and I think they believe that we are going to get married. They are also great and I couldn't ask for anything better. I have had relationships in the past where family has been the cause of breakups and I could never see this happening with his family.
Does liking another guy show that my boyfriend is not the one for me? Is this normal? Any help you could provide would be greatly appreciated!!!
I really care about my boyfriend and I know that he loves me and I love him too. I just don't know if we're on the same level of 'love' and if this is a problem or not. The other day I asked him how he knew that I was 'the one' for him and he told me that he couldn't see himself being with anyone other than myself. When I asked why he responded that it was because I had everything he was looking for. This made me feel really bad because I know that I couldn't honestly say the same. I talked to him about the "being on the same level" thing and told him that maybe we should wait it out to see if that goes away and if it doesn't than we should talk but I don't know how much time is reasonable to wait. A year? 6 months? More?
Some other problems are that I don't really feel physically attracted to him much in an intimate way anymore, I just see him as 'cute' or as a friend. We haven't had sex for at least 4 months because I do not want to increase his attachment in case I do choose it's best to part with him. And whenever I masturbate I think of the other guy and not him. I know that physical attraction is not everything in a relationship but I would think it's at least a bit important, am I right or wrong?
But I must mention that none of the relationships that I have had have ever been sexually gratifying. (I have never been able to climax.) Which may be another reason for my lack of desire to have sex.
I have also found my self unconsciously flirting with the other guy but try to keep it to a minimum whenever I realize what I'm doing. I don't know if it will ever lead to anything and I don't care much anymore but I do care about what my feelings for him imply on my current relationship.
Also his family likes me a lot and I think they believe that we are going to get married. They are also great and I couldn't ask for anything better. I have had relationships in the past where family has been the cause of breakups and I could never see this happening with his family.
Does liking another guy show that my boyfriend is not the one for me? Is this normal? Any help you could provide would be greatly appreciated!!!
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