I don't know if it's me or if I should genuinely be upset by this, but me and my boyfriend have been official now for nearly 3 months, so it's still relatively new. I met his mum, he's met my mum. His dad does know about me (he is just always at work so I haven't met him). I haven't told my dad about us, because this would be the first time I introduce anyone to my dad and I'm not just bringing home anyone, he's not ridiculously strict, but he does have some expectations of the type of guy he would want me to be with.
Anyway, I went over to his house this weekend, and out of the blue, his mum decided to have a "conversation" with me about why I haven't told my dad about him. Talking about how her son "isn't a secret" and "if your dad was to meet him later on and asked how long have you been together, do you expect my son to lie for you?". She brought up my past relationship and asked if I told my dad about my ex and that it's disrespectful for her son to come over to my house when my dad isn't there, he shouldn't be hidden. I tried explaining to her I want to make sure I bring home someone who is right for me, which as you may imagine she didn't take too kindly too, asking what is wrong with him and why wouldn't he be right for me? Oh also, I have a deadline to tell my dad about him before Christmas, because this has gone on "long enough".
To just explain a bit more, she is a big Jamaican woman who talks very loudly and sometimes her "conversations" can come across as intimidating and aggressive. I started crying, and she got the message and stopped there. My boyfriend did try to console me and say she wasn't angry, that's not her yelling, it's just her having a discussion, which to be honest, scares the life out of me if she can say all that when she isn't angry. He said he will have a word with her to tone it down a bit, especially since I am very softly spoken.
My question is if I have a right to be upset? Does she have a right to speak to me like that or am I being overly sensitive? I feel very intimidated by her and don't really want to come to his house for a while, and I am a little anxious to think of what she can be like if this relationship continues long term.
Anyway, I went over to his house this weekend, and out of the blue, his mum decided to have a "conversation" with me about why I haven't told my dad about him. Talking about how her son "isn't a secret" and "if your dad was to meet him later on and asked how long have you been together, do you expect my son to lie for you?". She brought up my past relationship and asked if I told my dad about my ex and that it's disrespectful for her son to come over to my house when my dad isn't there, he shouldn't be hidden. I tried explaining to her I want to make sure I bring home someone who is right for me, which as you may imagine she didn't take too kindly too, asking what is wrong with him and why wouldn't he be right for me? Oh also, I have a deadline to tell my dad about him before Christmas, because this has gone on "long enough".
To just explain a bit more, she is a big Jamaican woman who talks very loudly and sometimes her "conversations" can come across as intimidating and aggressive. I started crying, and she got the message and stopped there. My boyfriend did try to console me and say she wasn't angry, that's not her yelling, it's just her having a discussion, which to be honest, scares the life out of me if she can say all that when she isn't angry. He said he will have a word with her to tone it down a bit, especially since I am very softly spoken.
My question is if I have a right to be upset? Does she have a right to speak to me like that or am I being overly sensitive? I feel very intimidated by her and don't really want to come to his house for a while, and I am a little anxious to think of what she can be like if this relationship continues long term.
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