Dear board members.
I am Onzo, male and married since 5 years, the relationship is in the 9th year. I have been a silent reader for some time now and appreciate a lot of the posts and information I have gained thanks to many of you.
My problem is as usual in this thread: lack of sex.
I come to the understanding that this is such a complex matter that actually I have lost faith in most of the advices I have dealt with or read about.
To my situation:
Sex is down. When it comes up, it is like once in 3 months, always me initiating. Also I sometimes not only want sex, I fantasize about my wife in hot lingerie or us doing dirty stuff. I often find myself watching porn, just because of the frustration.. It somehow sucks.
In the beginning as we got to know each other, sex was hot. She is not the very open tipe, but she once a while would wear hot stuff, just for sex.
I cant tell when all started going down, I just remember that somewhere in the third year, it was only me initiating sex and in I guess over 90% of the time beieng turned down. She is a great woman and we love each other and when she turns me down, it is usually rather polite. But rejection somehow pains on the long run..
We have talked several times about the issue and I wish we would have as much sex as we talk about it. It is always me talking and I now really feel stupid. She usually listens and then begs for understanding for her rather lower drive than mine. Sometimes we will have sex a few days after the talk, but in the recent years also that stopped. I have to admit that inspite of my love for her, I really have gotten into recenting her badly.
I have tried many advises around here. I work out, I help at home, I contribute to the bills, take care of our two litte´le kids..
Now my question is: have you guys ever tried sth that instantly turned your women on out of the blue?
I would at this moment try anything, just in order to have the feeling she wants sex. Now!
This is going to be my journal where I will post the following weeks of my sexual life. I am planing to move out and later (next year) probably divorce my wife in spite of our young kids. The moving out should be in 2 months time. It is a pitty it is going to be christmas soon, but when I think of having just another christmas where my wife will just laugh when I wish she came to bed in red christams lingerie, and then she would when the day finally came come to bed in her wide pajamas telling me I couldnt have everything I wanted, I really feel I am not taken serious and even feel insulted.
So. Feel free to comment on my journey and add your advises when you want.
Thank you.
Day 1:
I live in europe, it is 2 am right now. I am going to bed, wife and kids are sleeping. Last time we has sex is 7 weeks ago.
My plan for tomorrow or better say today when the sun rises is to talk to a friend about my problem. He is in a marriage too and I hope he might have some advise for me where to start.
It is actually quiet stupid from me to set such a close time frame in shich I expect change or I will leave, but I consider myself as so desperate, that it actually does not matter anymore.. Better start afresh if I cannot be satisfied here.
I am Onzo, male and married since 5 years, the relationship is in the 9th year. I have been a silent reader for some time now and appreciate a lot of the posts and information I have gained thanks to many of you.
My problem is as usual in this thread: lack of sex.
I come to the understanding that this is such a complex matter that actually I have lost faith in most of the advices I have dealt with or read about.
To my situation:
Sex is down. When it comes up, it is like once in 3 months, always me initiating. Also I sometimes not only want sex, I fantasize about my wife in hot lingerie or us doing dirty stuff. I often find myself watching porn, just because of the frustration.. It somehow sucks.
In the beginning as we got to know each other, sex was hot. She is not the very open tipe, but she once a while would wear hot stuff, just for sex.
I cant tell when all started going down, I just remember that somewhere in the third year, it was only me initiating sex and in I guess over 90% of the time beieng turned down. She is a great woman and we love each other and when she turns me down, it is usually rather polite. But rejection somehow pains on the long run..
We have talked several times about the issue and I wish we would have as much sex as we talk about it. It is always me talking and I now really feel stupid. She usually listens and then begs for understanding for her rather lower drive than mine. Sometimes we will have sex a few days after the talk, but in the recent years also that stopped. I have to admit that inspite of my love for her, I really have gotten into recenting her badly.
I have tried many advises around here. I work out, I help at home, I contribute to the bills, take care of our two litte´le kids..
Now my question is: have you guys ever tried sth that instantly turned your women on out of the blue?
I would at this moment try anything, just in order to have the feeling she wants sex. Now!
This is going to be my journal where I will post the following weeks of my sexual life. I am planing to move out and later (next year) probably divorce my wife in spite of our young kids. The moving out should be in 2 months time. It is a pitty it is going to be christmas soon, but when I think of having just another christmas where my wife will just laugh when I wish she came to bed in red christams lingerie, and then she would when the day finally came come to bed in her wide pajamas telling me I couldnt have everything I wanted, I really feel I am not taken serious and even feel insulted.
So. Feel free to comment on my journey and add your advises when you want.
Thank you.
Day 1:
I live in europe, it is 2 am right now. I am going to bed, wife and kids are sleeping. Last time we has sex is 7 weeks ago.
My plan for tomorrow or better say today when the sun rises is to talk to a friend about my problem. He is in a marriage too and I hope he might have some advise for me where to start.
It is actually quiet stupid from me to set such a close time frame in shich I expect change or I will leave, but I consider myself as so desperate, that it actually does not matter anymore.. Better start afresh if I cannot be satisfied here.
Put the internet to work for you.
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