Is this EA healthy?

A dear friend admits to a passionate EA w/ a married man whose W does not know but "it doesn't affect the W because he has enough love for everyone and there's no sex even though we talk about it." Her H is fine with it and she claims they are having the best sex they've ever had, and H is glad that she is "so happy" with her "new soulmate."

Personally I think my friend is being incredibly selfish and in reality IS hurting the man's W but she says that's not possible if the W doesn't know and there is no sex. "No harm done, and the other 3 of us are so happy!"

Is this possible? I am trying to imagine my H having such a deep EA w/ another woman but not telling me so it won't hurt me. I would not be happy--but why not? if it makes him happy and he's not having sex with her? and if it's okay with the OW's H?

I'm feeling confused about right and wrong here. Is it in fact possible to have a passionate friendship/EA that's okay?

Another weird feeling I have is that this guy is actually harming my friend. But if she is "so happy just to talk with him" and claims "this relationship has changed my life and improved my marriage," why does it still smell fishy to me?

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