Well the title isn't all true. In fact I know I could have been here many years ago. My marriage was in trouble so many years ago but it was never fixed. Over the years it was just easier to ignore things because of work, kids and the daily distractions but still I knew things were bad even as long at 13 years ago. We will be married 18 years next month, together for 20.
Forward to around 6 or 7 years ago and we finally went to marriage counseling. Things improved some but we were there again after less than two years. Each time I came to her to express my concerns and each time she agreed that we were in trouble. This time though there's no counseling or reconciliation of any kind. talked a few months ago and decided divorce was best but still I held on a little longer. Today though we talked again and even before I approached her I knew it was over. The fact of the matter is she says she does not have it in her to work on us any longer.
I believe she has tried but or issues go so far back there's just so much bad history that it's hard to remember a time when things were good. I love her and it hurts but I also know in my heart this is the right thing for both of us. I am tired of being sad and know that I will be alright. We even told our kids, ages 15, 14, 13 and 11. That was the hardest talk I've ever had and surprisingly a couple of them took it quite well. I think that's because the wife and I don't have any animosity or bad will toward each other. We told the kids that we love them very much and the only thing that will change as that mom and dad won't be married and that dad will be living somewhere else close enough so that they can see me anytime they want to.
My marriage went bad long ago because of control issues I had. My wife shut down long ago because of this and though I don't have these issues anymore, even went as far as to get personal counseling, the damage had been done. She says she doesn't think she can ever recover or trust me in that way. She says she can't feel vulnerable around me. I know without that their can't be love so here I am.
Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this it just helps to put it out there.
Forward to around 6 or 7 years ago and we finally went to marriage counseling. Things improved some but we were there again after less than two years. Each time I came to her to express my concerns and each time she agreed that we were in trouble. This time though there's no counseling or reconciliation of any kind. talked a few months ago and decided divorce was best but still I held on a little longer. Today though we talked again and even before I approached her I knew it was over. The fact of the matter is she says she does not have it in her to work on us any longer.
I believe she has tried but or issues go so far back there's just so much bad history that it's hard to remember a time when things were good. I love her and it hurts but I also know in my heart this is the right thing for both of us. I am tired of being sad and know that I will be alright. We even told our kids, ages 15, 14, 13 and 11. That was the hardest talk I've ever had and surprisingly a couple of them took it quite well. I think that's because the wife and I don't have any animosity or bad will toward each other. We told the kids that we love them very much and the only thing that will change as that mom and dad won't be married and that dad will be living somewhere else close enough so that they can see me anytime they want to.
My marriage went bad long ago because of control issues I had. My wife shut down long ago because of this and though I don't have these issues anymore, even went as far as to get personal counseling, the damage had been done. She says she doesn't think she can ever recover or trust me in that way. She says she can't feel vulnerable around me. I know without that their can't be love so here I am.
Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this it just helps to put it out there.
Put the internet to work for you.
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