Hello gurus,
History.
Married for 4 years, been separated since April. We were in a rut, living comfortably but routine (the only thing I can think of that may have disinterested him, I like being boring as well so that doesn't help) and one day he came home and said he does not want to be married and moves out. Hasn't changed his address. Hasn't filed for divorce. No serious issues. He was getting angry but I usually prevented it from escalating.
The reason why I haven't filed is because I don't want a divorce, I don't really real comfortable doing it yet. I don't want to do anything regrettable like this especially after I've hurt my dignity trying to plead with him to give this another chance.
Does that feeling go away during separation?
If he's certain about no future between us why hasn't he filed if it
has nothing to do with money or litigation, alimony, or time out of the day?
No kids. No property. I'm 23 and he's 26. He started to resent me some because I graduated college and found a great job in my field almost instantly. He has yet to accomplish some of the same goals we shared. But that shouldn't be such a big deal I dont believe. Idk if it's an affair. But trying to figure out the why he left doesn't answer my question in why he hasn't taken the initiative to go through with it? Since I'm in this limbo...I still miss him and find love for him in the darkest spots within my soul. I don't feel the love back however. He helps me financially and I don't ask him to do this.
We only communicate by email. He won't answer why he hasn't started the divorce. He seems like he's more hurt and not moving forward when we speak versus me now (I can have a conversation without being emotional). We don't talk about anything or keep each other updated about our personal lives.
I like to I think hopeful, but I'm not sure how I can think someone would want to be with me after how long we've been separated. I don't remember what he sounds like.
Is this scenario common to predict its outcome? Do we stay separated forever until divorce is necessary for legal reasons? I mentioned to him if we no longer thought of us as each other's spouses and he said "We are married no matter how you think about it" and I asked him "how can we feel married to each other if we haven't connected, physically, or spiritually been with the other person for several months" and he didn't answer.
I know I can file but I don't like the feeling I have. It's like you know when your forgetting something but you don't know what it is until you go about your day. I know I've read the avg separation is 3 years. Why? People doing it low emotion as possible? Is that how long it will take to get rid of the weird feeling I have towards "handling a marriage dissolution".
PS. I've always read the boards here. They help so much
History.
Married for 4 years, been separated since April. We were in a rut, living comfortably but routine (the only thing I can think of that may have disinterested him, I like being boring as well so that doesn't help) and one day he came home and said he does not want to be married and moves out. Hasn't changed his address. Hasn't filed for divorce. No serious issues. He was getting angry but I usually prevented it from escalating.
The reason why I haven't filed is because I don't want a divorce, I don't really real comfortable doing it yet. I don't want to do anything regrettable like this especially after I've hurt my dignity trying to plead with him to give this another chance.
Does that feeling go away during separation?
If he's certain about no future between us why hasn't he filed if it
has nothing to do with money or litigation, alimony, or time out of the day?
No kids. No property. I'm 23 and he's 26. He started to resent me some because I graduated college and found a great job in my field almost instantly. He has yet to accomplish some of the same goals we shared. But that shouldn't be such a big deal I dont believe. Idk if it's an affair. But trying to figure out the why he left doesn't answer my question in why he hasn't taken the initiative to go through with it? Since I'm in this limbo...I still miss him and find love for him in the darkest spots within my soul. I don't feel the love back however. He helps me financially and I don't ask him to do this.
We only communicate by email. He won't answer why he hasn't started the divorce. He seems like he's more hurt and not moving forward when we speak versus me now (I can have a conversation without being emotional). We don't talk about anything or keep each other updated about our personal lives.
I like to I think hopeful, but I'm not sure how I can think someone would want to be with me after how long we've been separated. I don't remember what he sounds like.
Is this scenario common to predict its outcome? Do we stay separated forever until divorce is necessary for legal reasons? I mentioned to him if we no longer thought of us as each other's spouses and he said "We are married no matter how you think about it" and I asked him "how can we feel married to each other if we haven't connected, physically, or spiritually been with the other person for several months" and he didn't answer.
I know I can file but I don't like the feeling I have. It's like you know when your forgetting something but you don't know what it is until you go about your day. I know I've read the avg separation is 3 years. Why? People doing it low emotion as possible? Is that how long it will take to get rid of the weird feeling I have towards "handling a marriage dissolution".
PS. I've always read the boards here. They help so much
Put the internet to work for you.
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