how do you leave a spouse who is in a deep depression?

Hello everyone, I have been living with my husband for 15 years. The first 10 were good (not great) and over the past few years he has been in and out of episodes of depression and anxiety. When he is on meds he is tired all the time, lazy and apathetic. Off the meds he is a complete emotional wreck. Past two years I have felt like a mother and not a wife. I am 40 years old and it's time someone took the time to take care of me and my needs. Right now he is in one of his depressive episodes. He found out recently he is losing his job (a pretty high paying job) and he is spending every waking moment obsessing, crying and worrying about his career situation. I try to listen, offer support, talk him through the situation but it only ends up in circular discussions where he goes right back to panicking about the same issue I thought we just resolved in a conversation. It's gotten to the point where I can't take it anymore, I am finding myself shouting at him to stop and I scheduled an appointment with a therapist for him. I have been seeing a therapist for about 3 months and I think I need to leave the marriage. I am not attracted to him at all because I see him as a child and not a man. I feel terrible for thinking that way. He manages to be so high functioning at work but he can't seem to handle life otherwise. How do you tell someone who is on the brink of a breakdown that you want a divorce?

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