My wife is considering divorce

My wife and i have been together for over 6 years. We have two young boys together...3 and 4. I'm approaching 35 with a good job and she just turned 30 and is a stay at home mom. We had a talk the other night about why she has been more depressed than usual. She has been diagnosed with clinical depression and was at one point taking two different AD's last year. As of the last six months she has stopped taking them because she was trying to loose weight and the medication was just adding to her weight gain she said. She told me that she has been contemplating leaving me and our kids to find herself and become independent again. She said the only way she feels she can do it is if she hits rock bottom first and has to pull herself back up. She told me all her life she looked for others to make her happy and feel good about herself and that she needs to learn to lover herself first before she can concentrate on anybody else, including our kids and I. I know self love and self confidence is an issue with her because last year while she was taking some classes there was an act of infidelity on her part with a smooth talking classmate that has only ma d my trust issues even worse. She told me that she had mixed her meds with alcohol combined with her lack of self love and confidence allowed the OM to get her to let down her inhibitions. I cant help but think that this is all just a big dramatic story for her to step out again with other men or if she really does need to accomplish something on her own to feel self worth. I told her that if she does decide to leave that the likelihood of us ever getting back together is poor. I will not go through life wondering what she was doing on her "break". She said she never pictured herself as a stay at home mom but a career woman and until she accomplishes that she is never going to be happy. However she has little to no experience or education to even start a career. She has tried to go back to school but says she cant pass the classes because she is always with the kids and cant get enough time to sit and study so she quit going. I on the other hand got my two year degree right out of high school, got an engineering job that I have moved up in and also started going back to school for my four year degree. I'm a very driven person and I have direction. Now I am stuck with this knowledge of knowing a "reason" why she is unhappy and what she is contemplating and i'm left wondering, why the hell does the future of the kids and my life hang in the balance of her decision to leave or stay because she took her sweet time trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life? What if she does decide to stay and things don't change or they get worse. The feel of stability is not there with her and I just don't feel i can sleep easy knowing what I know now without constantly thinking...is today the day she jumps ship? What should I do? Just say you need to go do you're own thing whatever it is...we'll be fine on our own. Do i just sit and wait for her to make a final decision?

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