What we bring to the table.

Posting this on the men's forum first to get your take on a conversation I had with a friend of mine going through divorce. This is strictly from a male perspective, but women feel free to chime in. I was talking to a friend of mine at my son's birthday party the other day and I asked him how was his family. He sadly told me that his marriage was soon coming to an end. I know them both so its sad to see this happen. I asked what was going on and he opened up some personal things that got me thinking how as men we view sex and its role in keeping the marriage together. He told me that things were doing fine for years until she decided that sex was no longer important to her and started denying him sex. They both went to counseling and she basically said that she loves him but just doesn't want to have it anymore. I don't know if she has seen a doc, didn't ask. They are both in their late 40's, two teenagers. Good kids. Here is the statement from him that got me thinking, he then tells me (paraphrasing) "for years she has been cold and frigid and now with little to no sex in the equation her usefulness in my life is done. Kids are getting older, getting ready to go to college and I still have needs." We changed the topic but it got me thinking how a person can mentally reconcile their decision to divorce over something so inherently simple and easy as sex. Is he throwing it all away because of sex or the lack of it just clears the love tank so bad that there is no hope to reconcile. Personally my own troubles with my EX STARTED as soon as she decided to cut me off sexually. It really opened my eyes. If you look at the female side of things, I have known couples that divorced that loved each other very much but the husband could not hold a job so she divorced him because he was "useless" in her mind. No Job = Useless So in short, is it fair for a man to say, "Well honey, you are cold, frigid, unstable AND on top of that I get no sex. You are no longer useful to me." just like some women would tell her perpetually unemployed husband "No job for 3 years? You are useless to me." No Sex = I have no need for you. Fair? Discuss.

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979