Is it what it looks like or did I over react

Hello, This is my first time ever looking for help this way. History: My wife and I have been married for 4 yrs. We are both in our mid forty's. We have been together for almost 8 yrs. We have no kids together. We both have been married once before and children from those previous marriages. I have two kid's girl 9 and boy 21. She has one girl 21. We both work fulltime and I travel at least 2 weeks a month on biz. Prior to us getting together she was in a relationship with a guy who lived with his girlfriend in another state. My current wife and he were in their relationship for 3yrs. He knew her daughter. I was told how much he adored her. He basically lived with them when he traveled to our home state for months at a time. She will also go to stay in his state for weeks at a time. When MW and I got together we discussed our past relationships and both were comfortable with the information. We spent everyday together from the first day we meet. We discussed everything and both were in the mind set that we would never marry again after doing it the first time. Our love grew and we took down the walls of fearing being married again and took the plunge. Like every relationship there are ups and downs. There have been some eye openers that I didn't make much of a big deal. Don't want to bore you guys with all of the debate issues. All of us here can go on for days with stuff like that. After the first two yrs of marriage every time we will have verbal debates she will end it with maybe we should get a divorce. I never ever no matter how upset I got ever put the "D" word out there. Never felt any of our debates warranted that extreme. Just this past New Year Eve she ask me to leave. This type of behavior has been going on up to just three weeks ago. Present: Continuing to work on our marriage I had a biz trip to take that I invited her to come along. I always invited her on all my trips. She had weekends off. From time to time she will but most of the time she will decline. In October she decides to take a leave of absence from work to reinvent herself. She has been on her job for close to 20 yrs and doesn't get along well with her boss. I have been supportive in her decision. Back to the biz trip she comes along for a few days. On the day she had to leave I drive her to bus station which was a five minute driver at best. Within that time she loses her phone. She calls me from another number to have me look in the car for the phone so that I can send it home. I look all over the car didn't find the phone. Later that day she calls the hotel to take another look in the car and they find the phone. Upon my return the front desk returns the phone to me packaged. Two days later I decide to check to make sure it was the right phone and to my surprise there is some funky biz going on. Two weeks prior she took a planned trip to the town where her EB lives currently. She has family there so I didn't take much into it. It was a little weird that when she was there I didn't speak to her much. She didn't even inform me of her return iteniery. When she got home from trip we have been talking much to a point where she tells me we are broken up because of one of our arguments. (There is a point to all this hold on). During the time from her trip away with family there is another trip planned that she never told me about. I received the hotel confirmation to my email and that's how I find out. I asked her and she was acting like she didnt know what i was talking about. After a couple of days she tells me how she wants me to go on this trip. With my work schedule I had to decline. Back to find the cell phone. She had four new text messages. One from a guy that I don't know or ever heard anything about. Second convo with her daughter, Third with cousin and fourth with aunt. After reading these text I find out that she had her daughter put up a post on face book that she was traveling to the Ex boyfriend town. For about a week prior to her leaving she continue to ask her daughter if the EB respond. She then asks for the EB phone number. Not sure if she got it but this really burns me up. Texts with new guy are morning text and explaining movements between the both of them. There were words like baby and babe being used. Cousin text consist of how pissed she was that the booking agent sent me the email about her trip that she never told me about. Text with aunt consists of that aunt suggesting that the cousin and MW take the hubbies. MW states she defiantly doesn't want me to go. At the time reading all this info smoke is coming out of my ears. At that time I was ready for divorce now. I printed out all these text messages and read them over and over after returning the phone to MW. I started to calm down and think maybe she is not getting all she need for me. I started to pay extra attention to her needs. Still not letting her know I have this info. Then a week ago she starts her attitude again and tells me that I need to get my **** together. I lost it. I took all the prints gave them to her to read and packed up. Things got a little heated so I just left without my things. I must say I am very hurt from all this. I haven't really spoken to her since because she went on her trip this past weekend with her family that I was surprised with in the first place. Could it really be she is looking for something else or maybe I over reacted? I feel that I can't trust her now. I don't know if she did anything but this just looks too strange. She claims I abandon her and the marriage and she doesn't want it to end. Sorry for the book. Just wanted to give as much info as possible. Thanks for any insight.

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