She Cheated, I Left, Why Am I Being So Nice

I need some advice. Last summer my wife asked me for a separation. I figured this was coming, we'd really never been that good together for the last 12 years. If we didn't have two kids together, it probably would not have lasted that long. So, we faced the kids and I moved out. Since I've been gone, I figured out and confirmed she was having an affair with a contractor, turned "friend" of mine. I am in the Navy and was gone a lot the year before we broke up. During that time, his six week job turned into a year long project. He befriended me and my wife befriended his wife and for a time, we did a lot of stuff together. Honestly, I didn't think that much of it at the time, despite what the gossips were saying. Plus, when I did confront her, she denied, denied. Well, like I said, I left and have been extremely generous with her. Letting her stay in the house and giving her a more than adequate allowance. I did this, while I lived with a roommate, like a 20 something. I was digging a financial hole fast, while her life barely changed. For a while, I didn't mind because I rationalized that the break up was not really her fault or mine, we just didn't love each other, so I could suffer for a while. Then I began to figure out that the two of them had an affair and that it started while I still lived in the house. So, now I'm thinking, she didn't ask for a separation because we were broke; she asked for it so she would be free to carry on with this guy. By the way, my "friend", her lover, quit hanging out with me immediately after I left and about a month after I left, he left his wife (clue #1). So, now I feel like she has totally taken me for a big fat ride. I having thoughts like kicking her out of the house and taking custody of the kids. I think her lust broke up my family and she is the one who doesn't deserve to be in it any more. I never cheated, even though I had opportunities. I always treated her like gold, even though I never really loved her with all my heart. I guess I don't really blame her for cheating but darn it, I feel like if that is what she wants, she should have been the one to leave, not me. She really shouldn't have her cake, etc. etc. She doesn't know that I know but it keeps me up at night. I am destroyed over here and fast approaching financial ruin. Any advice? Scribe

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