searching for peers

SEARCHING FOR PEERS….. I wrote a Valentine for Valer!e in Feb '13 issue of the Times Square Chronicles Newspaper, i am on public access TV show "The New Yorkers" now…...read it at a writers symposium at the New York Public Library (women cried & i was told i write like a women???) ...now they want to do it as stage-play at the library......i am not sure how... but they have done this sort of thing before.... turns out several people there have been to our home....because Valer!e kept thousands of names/numbers in her memory i keep meeting new people who i did not know i knew......my...my..(also I've written for cosmo, redbook, huff post & others searching & searching ....... "24/7"It's the Artist's Life for Me! Volume2 The Anagnorisis" "It's the Artist's Life for Me! Volume 1" by Muse/Wife Valer!e Monroe Shakespeare 1944-2011 & I Tery Fugate-Wilcox Some discoveries by Tery Fugate-Wilcox of a fantastic life with Valer!e Monroe Shakespeare Is anyone out there who lived 24/7 with someone? We did for 48 years...& I mean literally 24/7/365, every 25 million minutes (we got married the third day we met at 18), the only thing that separated us was death. Valer!e had a very rare 9/11cancer. We were total strangers when we got married & spent nearly 2 years helping each other become our own person, I was not because I grew up in convent. Valer!e was far ahead of her peers with an IQ of 182. Family legend has it that when the birth-doctor slaps her butt she laughed instead of cried. Valer!e needed support to blossom. But, more to the point, we never talked about 24/7, it just happened because every time a decision about being together arose we always would rather be together. Now, the curious thing is we just preferred each other to others & things at every opportunity. If we were to be with other people we would want to share that together. Sharing everything was very important. Also, we never had anything to compromise about because we were too excited facing the adventures that life threw at us! We had no "rules" because nothing wrong between us was ever done. I know....it is hard to believe, but the difference between fact & fiction is that fiction must make sense. We considered life to important to be taken seriously. We considered everyday a gift, which is why Valer!e said it is called the present! I like say I married John Wayne (if John Wayne were a woman). Valer!e was a Miss Scottsdale, Miss Arizona girl, rode her horse to school & was a better shot than me. You could have complete confidence in getting the straight story & insightful advice. I never noticed that Valer!e was the go-to grrrrl for valuable answers to all sorts of life's problem's with all of our friends because her effortless way of getting to core of the problem with elegantly simple solutions. People would ask me "is the snow white?" but check my answer with Valer!e because they knew my answer would be surreal & Valer!e would always be clear & revealing. It was impossible to win a debate with Valer!e. Valer!e was my muse who saw art as pure magic. She was my critic. I would present a piece & either I would get a kiss & a hug signaling profound success or a quiet chill of indifference which told me to get back to work. It does not get any better than that! Rarely, others would try to separate us...(some fun). Some couples felt challenged by our relationship (made for interesting dinner parties). There seems to be, in some people, an idea that those wedding vows: "till death us do part", "forsaking all others", better or worst", "sickness & in health" can be kept by application. In practical fact they (the vows) can only be kept without notice because of fundamental unconditional love that requires no maintenance or design. The kind of love I am talking about never needs to be talked about. There was never a "bad patch between us". I grew up in a convent & learned to know when I was wrong & at 12 I knew what humility was. For an artist to have someone with such a crystal vision of the meaning of life, which Valer!e taught me was just that & a profound joy of discovery for his muse, makes everything else in life pure delight. We discussed many topics, intensely, but the topics were never about us. To the point that our new upstairs neighbors call the police (we often used cheap restaurant dishes to make a Grecian point) who always replied, "not to worry you are talking about Tery & Valer!e, talking.". Having lived in "Tribeca" since '68, active in the neighborhood, been auxiliary police, we were well known. We once got a letter in the post addressed only: Valerie Monroe Shakespeare, New York, New York On reflection it appears we had some unspoken "rules", that seems very curious?? * talk, talk, talk & oh yeah, talk * no topic is forbidden, none * if it's intense go for a walk together while you talk (there is benefit in NYC in that being in public calms the discussion & when you cross the street you could be in another country) * an artist starts everyday with, "So what do you want to do??"…..try it… * keep trying (Gone with the Wind was rejected over 300 times) * be fearless (the only thing we have to fear is that) * give praise freely, you will be glad you did * if it's yours.... take the blame * be creative, fresh (we know what happens to stale bread) * NO...LISTEN...NO...."SECRETS" , but surprises can be a great gift * Valer!e would not allow any & all forms of negativity * Thank you for listening, this really helps……. more to follow……………………all are love,teryValer!e

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