I said the wrong thing and feel terrible

I have some issues from my past life, I know that and am doing really well to get past them. But today SO said to me "I want to grow old with you" I replied with "do you really mean that?" He looked so hurt and as soon as I saw that on his face I appologised and told him that I shouldn't have said it. He had just said he wanted to spend his life with me and I questioned his honesty, I am an idiot at times. We both have our share of post divorce baggage so we understand each other from this POV. I just feel so bad that I was so careless and basically said I didn't believe him I think more to the point is that at times I struggle to believe that I deserve this happiness. Just waffling but does anyone understand how I feel? How hard it is to be in a fantastic relationship after an average one ended and trust that everything will be OK?

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979