The ups and downs

My D was final last May after 28 married years, I did not want it and still don't. I have done some dating, I love my job and my grown kids, but for some reason I am back in a bad slump. I know it was probably the holidays, upcoming V day and birthdays. Plus, I was trying to be "friends" or at least be ok in the exH's company, so I was texting him friendly things and saw him for coffee, etc. And as usual, all the hoping came rushing back. The truth is, and I know this, he is not at all interested. He is making a life for himself. The one I always wanted us to have, unfortunately. And its killing me. Trust me, I have great friends, I am planning another great vacation with them to Europe, a beautiful home, fabulous family and kids...but no partner, and especially, not the partner I want. I know all the stuff in my head about moving on, its just that I didn't expect all this sadness again, I thought I was past it. Back to counseling this week fo r sure! Hope you are all well

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