Overly Attached/ Disrespectful In-law

My husband and I have been married for three years now. We are a military family, therefore the times we get to see each other and spend quality time together are fairly limited. Nonetheless our relationship is very good, still new and working on creating a couple-identity, but overall we're both satisfied in love. Where the problems start to arise is when dealing with his parents, mainly his father. He is incredibly needy of my husband's time, requesting to talk over the phone/ skype frequently, and ask for the whole family to visit us as often as they can. Not just ask, but WHINE. I understand that he misses his son, I can truly understand because I do too, but he seems to not take no for an answer, even when the timing is very inconvenient for us. He'll often fire back with a "there's never a good time for anything, so do it anyway" response, attempting to guilt us. It's gotten to the point where the father will more or less go behind my back to try to weasel his way into our house by asking during private conversations with him, as if my husband's not going to consult me first. There have been several other button pushers that I'll just list here: While we were engaged his father asked if I was marrying his son for the money. Folks, there was never any money, we were both poor and still are! When we were in debt on our credit card his father badgered my husband about the amount, and tried pay it down so we'd owe him instead. Also behind my back. I am not comfortable with borrowing/ owing family money, I just feel it can lead to bad things and is better kept separate. We all had a pretty big fight from that. His father constantly mentions women he thinks are hot and wants the same recognition from my husband. My husband has told him repeatedly that he has no interest in that kind of conversation, that he loves me and he's married to me. Falls on deaf ears, the subject is brought up again in nearly every phone call. Every time he visits our house he blatantly ignores my request for him to remove his shoes. He'll walk around the house in his f-ing shoes after I asked him 5-10-20 times. When my husband confronts him about it he'll say that his shoes are clean so he didn't see a need to take them off. I guess he doesn't see a need to respect my wishes either. So these are just a few things, I think you get the idea. Overall I feel like his father doesn't want to acknowledge that we are married, that his son is a grown man who is living an INDEPENDENT life with me from the rest of his family. Any advice, suggestions for when parents can't let go/ create an unhealthy controlling relationship?

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