I'm afraid for my life

I moved country to marry my wife, during this time I have been unable to find work due to the language and cultural barrier, I have become very down since getting here, however my wife appears to have become a different person since marriage and it appears she has some kind of severe depression beyond anything I can deal with. I easily get frustrated at home because I have nothing to do, however instead of trying to comfort me or help me in anyway, she turns into the victim and finds something to yell at me about. Anytime I have an emotion, she has to create something for herself so that I would feel sorry for her. She gets very violent, she has come at me with a knive, she has tried to cut her arm, she has destroyed almost every breakable albeit expensive item in our home. When she doesnt get what she wants she bangs her head on the floor, wall, glass until there is a cut or bruise. She screams at me she wants a divorce then storms off and suddenly everything is fine. She demands me to leave, I have packed up several times and stayed with her family but then she calls them and says that 'my husband left me, he abandoned me' to them. She storms off in the car in a rage and says she will kill herself, then calls me over and over saying she will kill herself, I am mentally and physically exhausted of chasing after her, when I dont bother to call her back right away (to let her cool down) she goes crazy and returns and tells me to leave. On our honeymoon she stormed off on me serveral times in a foreign place. She has abandoned me in the city where we live, by driving off and throwing money out the window for me to get a taxi, whichs blows away. She would eventually come back. Her family have told me she had problems before but i never knew aobut this before the wedding. They want her to get help but they leave me to take care of her all the time, they might arrange a counsel for her but Im the exhausted one. I am not happy, I have never been happy, this is not what a marriage should be like. I called my parents and they told me to pack lite and just leave but I cant help but worry that I will be making a mistake. But I will say this, I feel so happy and relaxed when she isnt here. I feel so happy the thought of returning to my home country to pursue my career and lead the life I really want. On another thread I saw this list posted in another thread, I will highlight in bold the things I see from my wife. Quote: Originally Posted by Uptown (Post 1397498) 1. Black-white thinking, wherein he categorizes everyone as "all good" or "all bad" and will recategorize someone -- in just a few seconds -- from one polar extreme to the other based on a minor infraction; 2. Frequent use of all-or-nothing expressions like "you always" and "you never;" 3. Irrational jealousy and controlling behavior that tries to isolate you away from close friends or family members; 4. A strong sense of entitlement that prevents him from appreciating your sacrifices, resulting in a "what have you done for me lately?" attitude; 5. Flipping, on a dime, between adoring you and devaluing you,; 6. Frequently creating drama over issues so minor that neither of you can recall what the fight was about two days later; 7. Low self esteem; 8. Verbal abuse and anger that is easily triggered, in seconds, by a minor thing you say or do (real or imagined), resulting in temper tantrums that typically last several hours; 9. Fear of abandonment or being alone; 10. Always being "The Victim," a false self image he validates by blaming you for every misfortune; 11. Lack of impulse control, wherein he does reckless things without considering the consequences (e.g., binge eating or spending); 12. Complaining that all his previous GFs were abusive and claiming (during your courtship) that you are the only one who has treated him well; 13. Mirroring your personality and preferences so perfectly during the courtship period (e.g., enjoying everything and everyone you like) that you were convinced you had met your "soul mate;" 14. Relying on you to center and ground him, giving him a sense of direction because his goals otherwise keep changing every few months; 15. Relying on you to sooth him and calm him down, when he is stressed, because he has so little ability to do self soothing; 16. Having many casual friends but not any close long-term friends (unless they live a long distance away); 17. Taking on the personality of whatever person he is talking to, thereby acting quite differently around different types of people; and 18. Always convinced that his intense feelings accurately reflect reality -- to the point that he regards his own feelings as self-evident facts, despite his inability to support them with any hard evidence. I dont mind little lies but I find my wife decieving me, her family and now my family. After an arguement she said we needed to talk, when I was calm I sat down and said ok and she stormed off, she then called my parents saying she would harm herself and she wanted a divorce, then she comes back and pretends nothing happened. I feel so betrayed and like I am being used. help me please

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