This will be long, so I apologize in advance. When I married my husband, in 1999, he had both a kidney transplant and a full time job. Having been a single mom for a lot of years, job was important. A year into the marriage, without talking to me, he stopped taking his anti- rejection meds and had to go on dialysis. He has been on and off disability, hasn't worked full time since 2001. I Have always worked full time and over, to pay for expenses,vacations we took or anything else. He had a stroke about 7-8 yrs ago, he was completely paralyzed on left side. I'm a nurse so I made sure he was treated right, he went to rehab, I worked and visited every day. After the stroke, he was angry, depressed,miserable, he hates dialysis,but won't go back on transplant list. At this point, after he was home, and pretty recovered, gained back almost complete use of left side, I asked for separation and was seriously thinking about divorce. We ended up doing marriage coun seling, and I decided to try again. Things haven't been to good since, he was supposed to get on transplant list, he didn't, we were still struggling, I was just tired and couldn't see spending rest of my life this way, I'm 53, he's 55. So we've been separated for almost 3 yrs now, very amicably for first 2, but then I guess he became angry about whole situation. He sued me for spousal support 3 mos ago, and was awarded 1/3 of my take home pay. I was FURIOUS, and he knew it. After I had time to cool down, I went to see him, to ask why, why did he feel I needed to support him, and why he didn't talk to me before suing me. He said well, I figured you might pay me for a month or two. Since, we both had to retain attorneys he told me most of money I'm giving him, going to his lawyer. I feel this has been colossal waste of money, told him, I would have helped him, I love him, always will, don't want him to struggle that bad. I only just filed for divorce after support order, beca use I have to pay him til divorce final. Of course he is suing for alimony. I Feel maybe he and I can either go to divorce mediation or work out something ourselves. Neither of us can afford all the attorney fees. I feel bad for him, he told me I was his first visitor in 2 yrs at his new place. How's that for irony. From a man's perspective, am I wrong, should I try to see if we can work things out. Before the stroke, even with everything we had a good marriage.
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