So I'm going to preface this rant (and it is a rant) with a quick note. I expect this will upset a few, not that I'm really worried about that. Not using anon, if you are going to state something you should own it really. Writing is not really my strong suit so feel free to pick out all the flaws, I can always edit it later. There may well be a post about this somewhere, but I am making a new one because it's something I want to say myself, rather than resurrecting one from the annals. I see this kind of stuff so often and it just makes me cringe, so I thought I'd write on it quickly:
There is no such thing as "the nice guy"
You see it so often in forums and on the internet. This nonplussed angry post about how a guy who is *so* nice and does everything for a girl, only to have her date some jerk. Cue smallest violin concerto.
I am literally sick to death of this. These guys go on about how the girl is irrational or cruel for choosing someone else. This then often gets blown in to a stereotype on how girls say they want a nice guy, only to always go out with a jerk.
The funny thing is these guys are not that nice. That's what really gets me. Firstly, let's get it out there, they're usually after the sex. They may want a relationship, but they want it for the sex. Nine times out of ten it is a hot girl that they are lusting after and so they try to passively please women in to the bedroom with endless fawning and favours. Not that attractive a ploy as it turns out. The expectation is ludicrous, like women are vending machines where the process is insert compliment and receive sex. Women are not actually obliged to reward all good deeds with sex (though I could be up for that reality).
Just because you think you're being super sweet doesn't mean that she agrees, and even if she does it doesn't mean that she is attracted to you. If you are "friend-zoned" then either make yourself attractive or move on. Getting worked up in to some self righteous anger over the fact she wont put out is pointless and *hint* actually not that nice.
On the subject of niceness: it's not nice to assume any guy who is not you is an *******. Most of them are probably pretty decent chaps. Regardless of how good looking he is or the fact he likes different things to you, there's likely a reason that girl decided to go out with him, and the reason isn't usually self flagellation. You aren't actually the only nice guy out there. Also for the sake of observation, here's a thought experiment for you. Think of the most awesome, nicest person you know. Are you thinking of that one running about the place telling everyone how nice, kind and super cool they are? Probably not.
So yeah, that nice guy? I'm saying he doesn't exist. Thoughts?
Put the internet to work for you.
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