My current husband & I have been together just over 4 years...married for 2. He was always telling little lies and not being honest mostly about money. I more often than not let it roll off and not make a huge deal about things. I myself have always been very independent and financially smart. I always paid what needed to paid first before the extras etc. To sum up past 4 years...to two larger events this year. We had been trying to obtain his credit history and had sent away for it and never received it in the mail...strange...I offered to pay for it on my credit card & he got very defensive. Just before xmas I found an envelope under our bed that was his credit check that had been in our home for a year!!! When I confronted him he said he felt it was his past and for him to deal with when he was ready and didn't think of it as it affecting his family now (I have two girls from a previous marriage and we have a one year old together). We had a huge talk about money and how betrayed I felt from that and thought we were moving past it. A few months later I got a phone call from Easy financial about an overdue payment in his name. I was sick to my stomach! When I confronted him about it he had no explanation. He took a $4100 loan last summer and will be paying back almost double...to me anyone knows that about those companies. He still can't explain what the money was for except that for years he had no idea how to budget and was constantly going to pay day loans, bank of mom & dad etc. I ask for the last 6 months of his bank account records to go over it...holy crap how could I have been so blind to this!!! He even "borrowed" money from work!! To make matters worse his got fired from his job a month ago and still hasn't found work! I am just finishing mat leave and we had already decided I was going to run my own business again so we didn't have to pay for daycare. I am the only one with credit cards or credit for that matter. With him not working I will have to pay for everything on my cards or overdraft till he gets a job bcuz he made more than myself and I can't pay for everything on my income.
We have been doing individual counselling and were suppose to start couples but have no money or babysitter :(
There are other issues that seem amplified bcuz of all of this. Things are no where near the same. I was trying hard to get past all the lies and then he got fired and it has put a huge stress and pressure on me I feel.
He told me a few weeks ago that this was the first time in his life (he is 41) that he was being open and honest and wasn't hiding anything from anyone. Part of me feels sorry for him but the other part feels like he took all that crap and put it on my plate to deal with.
Feeling overwhelmed and don't want to be divorced a second time but unsure if things can be fixed :(
We have been doing individual counselling and were suppose to start couples but have no money or babysitter :(
There are other issues that seem amplified bcuz of all of this. Things are no where near the same. I was trying hard to get past all the lies and then he got fired and it has put a huge stress and pressure on me I feel.
He told me a few weeks ago that this was the first time in his life (he is 41) that he was being open and honest and wasn't hiding anything from anyone. Part of me feels sorry for him but the other part feels like he took all that crap and put it on my plate to deal with.
Feeling overwhelmed and don't want to be divorced a second time but unsure if things can be fixed :(
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